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I think my boyfriend is gay

Two days ago I saw on my boyfriends phone a video of him being sexual with a man. I wish I was joking. 
we have already been going through a lot of heavy stuff, really bad arguments, we both agreed that we don’t even love each other as much as we used to. 
I immediately left the house and im staying at an Airbnb for a few days, I live with him and it’s so hard. I don’t know who I sleep next to at night, I have asked him before are you bisexual? He always Denys it, but I continually assure him that he can tell me the truth. 
I loved him but at this stage I don’t know how to even begin to deal with this. 

 

Clio
ClioPosted 17-02-2022 10:53 PM

Comments

 
Iona-RO
Iona-ROPosted 18-02-2022 11:11 AM

Hi @Clio

Thanks for sharing this with us and reaching out for some support. This must be such a difficult situation for you to deal with, I totally understand why you'd feel like you don't know where to begin.

 

Firstly, I do want to say a really big well done for being able to look after yourself, getting away and taking some space apart is such a great thing to do. If you find that you're still not ready to go back to the house after your few days at the Airbnb, do you have any family or friends you could stay with for a while?

 

It is really heartbreaking when a partner cheats, it's such a betrayal of trust and it's normal to feel angry and hurt. How are you feeling about him being sexual with someone else? (I slightly edited your description in the post as graphic language can be triggering for other community members, I hope that's OK. You can read over our guidelines here.) What happened when you confronted him about it? We have this article that talks about what to do when you've been cheated on which you might find helpful.

 

I can totally understand that fact he cheated on you with a man makes this whole situation even more confusing. But I'm thinking maybe the key thing to focus on first is what you want, whether you want to continue a relationship with him, and if you think things can be worked on after he cheated. Who he cheated with and his sexuality, is something to explore after that. What do you think?

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