I think my friend hates me
So like today my friend got really snappy at me and repeatedly just got mad at me and I don’t really know why Ilike am I a bad friend? Why does this always happen? They get close then they leave and I get she just tolerates me she hopes I leave her alone doesn’t she? I should just be alone shouldn’t I?
Comments
Hi @Marron_Mammoth,
I want to start by saying thank you for your post 🙂
Posting in general can be a really hard and challenging thing to do, when the post becomes about a loved one either a friend or family that can be even harder to post. I want to commend you on making this step, from what i have read i can see and feel that your friend means the world to you and that you care so deeply for them and that's a beautiful thing to see.
I'm wondering if you have been able to talk to your friend about how the two of you might be feeling? In relationships open communication is one of the key essentials and practicing this skill can really help deepen a bond with a person as how can we help if we don't ask what's wrong.
I want to share with you this page ReachOut has on communication skills which inside has an array of articles such as how to ask a friend if they're okay and more. We also have this other page on Helping friends which also have a range of articles.
Again i want to commend you on the care you're are showing to your friend, and i'm sure they would really love and appreciate your support 🙂
All the best.
Hi @Marron_Mammoth welcome back! I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling like your friend hates you - this is always a hard feeling to experience.
It sounds like you're quite anxious about your friend's feelings towards you, which is understandable. However, (and speaking from experience as both feeling like you and from being a snappy friend myself sometimes), your friend may have been having a difficult day/have some external things going on that is causing them to act snappy and be short-tempered. Although this is not a nice thing to project onto others, it can happen regardless. In short, your friend may be going through some stuff that is completely unrelated to you even if they're projecting this onto you. Do you think this could be happening?
Would it be possible to ask your friend about what's been happening and explain how you're feeling lately? It sounds like you're quite anxious about the friendship, and as a fellow anxious friend, I've found that it's usually best to be really forthcoming and outright about my feelings. My anxious brain can tell me that everybody hates me and I deserve to be alone based on the smallest interactions, so talking this over with my friends can really help me to understand their perspective and quiet down my irrational anxious thoughts.
You mentioned that this situation seems to be happening often, so I do think it's important to reflect on this. If you are consistently feeling anxious and upset because of interactions with your friend, especially after you've talked about this issue and your feelings with her, it could be helpful to create some distance between the two of you. You deserve to be surrounded by people that make you feel good!
Now I have just woken up, but I hope this makes sense! Please keep me/ReachOut updated about the situation 😊
Hello @Marron_Mammoth,
Looks like you are going through quite a bit at the moment and it seems like you felt pretty hurt over your friend’s sudden snappiness at you under no particular reason.
It is pretty frustrating to see things not work well in a friendship and there has also been times when I felt attacked by people’s emotions for no apparent reason.
Personally, I would go off for a walk or hike to clear my mind a bit, something to just clear my head fog and emotions ( but it could be anything that calms you down, I draw nonsensical drawing as well sometimes if this occur). Then come back to it, having a chat with the friend when you eventually feel comfortable.
If you have any other close friends or family members, it is definitely a good idea to have a chat with them as well, to help conceptualise some of what you are feeling at the moment.
Of course, you also have reach out to chat to if there are any more concerns. ☺️
