Not really sure how this whole thing works but beyond blue wasn't an option tonight so chatting it is.
(Anything too cleae thr negative mindset right).
So I guess I have always been known as thr weirdo, the outcast, loser kid that never fits in but I have always had my own world to go too, its a place wherr I keep my sanity.. quietly obeserving everyone in their antics and learning as I attempt too stay invisible.
Lately it is as if my world has come crashing down..
Every house I live in falls apart (including my step dads house, my Mum and him divorced), I lived with one older lady who died, I have been cheated out of bonds and kicked out, I had my signature illegally copied AGAIN for a bond $660 ( Still fighting it). I have been in anxiety filled houses that were horrible to be in sent me crazy, I have broken things cjanged my character (for the worst along the way in my opinion).
I have had all of these people comit suicide around me ( close people to me),
I am fighting with my younger brother because of it.
THERE IS SO MUCH MORE, I KEEP FAILING MY LICENSE TEST, I CANT SAVE MONEY FOR THE LIFE OF ME, I KEEP FEELING LIKE I AM GOING CRAZY, I FAILED AT UNI.
Why is all of this happening too me...
Did I ask for this, without realising.
Is there some massive reason.
This stuff is so heavy, I was a big enough weirdo before as it was.
NOW I have extra baggage.
I feel like it would be better for me if I were in Canada where you can decide if you want the path that was layed out for you.
But me.. Australian... I have to work out if there is good reason or simply the comment at the end that saus "Thus is life".
Sincerely thank ful too those who made it too the end, its heavy work xx
Welcome to the ReachOut community and thank you for taking the time to make your first post and to let us know how you are going. It sounds like there has been a lot happening for you - it takes a lot of bravery to come online and seek support, and I hope you will find this community is really supportive
Reading your post, I can hear just how much you have lived through these last few years- there's a lot of really big things happening between instability in housing, and grief and loss, there is a lot you are carrying. It is understandable given the stress you have gone through that you are feeling really negative right now If you ever need to chat, we are always here to listen.
Continuing to push through the tough times like you have really shows a lot of strength and resilience. I can hear that you are questioning why all of this is happening- these are really big and really tough questions, and I can imagine they are feeling heavy for you at the moment.
What is your housing situation like at the moment? Do you have stable accommodation?
You mentioned beyondblue, do you have a support system around you at the moment?
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Hello @DealingWithGrief, welcome to the forums! It's really brave of you to post here and seek support, so well done!
Your first paragraph I relate to all to well. I've always felt like 'the outcast' who never fits in. Even still, I sometimes feel as if whenever I enter a room everyone is already best friends and I'm going to be unable to relate to anyone. Please know that you're not alone in this feeling! There's a lot of supportive people around here on this forums, as well as out in the community. As @Jess1-RO mentioned, I wonder if you have a support system around you at the moment, or anyone in your life you can talk to? I know it's hard, but seeking professional guidance with mental health can really help to change those negative perspectives. In the meantime, would it be possible to join some interest groups related to your hobbies so you can feel a greater sense of belonging, perhaps?
From what I gather, you sound like you have so much strength and resilience pushing through these tough times, and remember it would be normal to feel this way under so much stress and grief, and to question why things are happening the way they are. I've often felt the same way, too. Again, we are always here to listen and support you!