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People embarrassed to hang out with me

I’m starting job and normally my cousin and aunty do it but they said at Christmas they weren’t. 

I found out from my dad today that they are and I’ve felt uncomfortable being in the same room at times with this one aunty as years ago I told her son/ my cousin his Pa passed before she got to tell him and I never apologised for it but I’ve been remorseful about it. 
I have asked other family about apologising 6 years later but most say “don’t worry about it” or “it’s too late, move on.”

I have journaled about the above prior and forgiven the situation to move on. 

Back to the main point, I do feel as if this aunty and my cousin didn’t want tell me they were doing it and feels like maybe they’d be embarrassed to hang out with me or that I may say too much of something and it ends badly. 

I do feel I’m overthinking this and would like to ask my aunty and cousin together as I’ve asked my cousin after an Insta Story post and he just said he was working…

 

Am I wrong for feeling this way?

 

I'm feeling unsure on how to approach this situation or whether to just go with the flow and do my own thing if worse goes to worst. 

 

ps if you love tennis or sport, enjoy yourself!

Happy 2024

gisforgreatgoodness
gisforgreatgoodnessPosted 11-01-2024 10:44 PM

Comments

 
Nymeria-RO
Nymeria-ROPosted 12-01-2024 03:50 PM

Hey @gisforgreatgoodness,

I can understand how uncomfortable it must be trying to navigate this situation, it must be so confusing knowing how your aunt and cousin actually feel about being around you when what they say doesn't seem to line up.

It's definitely easy to overthink these situations when you don't get much clarity. From what you said, it sounds like you've thought a lot about the situation and are worried they may feel embarrassed to hang out. You're not wrong for feeling this way at all, how you feel about this situation is totally understandable and really important when you're thinking about how to work through this. It's nice to hear how you've dealt with the situation so far, journalling is so useful for expressing yourself and organising your thoughts!

It can feel super vulnerable but I'm curious if you've thought about communicating how this makes you feel with your aunt or cousin? Can you think of a way to tell them how you're feeling?

If it's too much to talk to them about what's happening, it can really help to talk to someone familiar with the situation. Is there anyone you feel comfortable talking about this with?

Finding the right way to move forward is a challenge in itself, it might help to check out some steps to help you tackle difficult conversations. You could also check out this article that talks about how to deal with family conflict

 

Looking forward to your response!

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