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Psychosis for 10 years? Can you tell me your experience?

I have Bipolar 1. I'm medicated but recectly one of my medications started actually working. My anti psycotic. I didn't realise I was psychotic until I wasn't anymore. 6 weeks into taking my medication, my delusion left ( I'd been experiencing it for 1 or 2 years) and that was it. I thought I must have just snapped out of it because there was no other changes. I also didn't think too much of the fact that I had been dilusional for almost 2 years. But then a week ago, almost 6 months from my last change, I suddenly started feeling in touch with reality, my thoughts weren't jumbled, my view on the world had literally changed, my shoulders weren't sore anymore, my paranoia had gone, my emotions weren't flat anymore and I actually smiled and expresed my emotions but then the biggest change came. The "noise" in my head I'd always assumed was thoughts left. I told my mum ( who has studied psycology) and she immediately made me watch this video of a virtual reality simulation of psycosis. As soon as the voices started I just burst out in tears because it was like they had come back. I'll describe my experience with these sounds. They were always layered over each other, there was usually no clear message, I describe it like static on a radio. Once in a while that radio would tune in to a channel for a second and I'd hear a word or a sentence before it returned to whispers that seemed like screams and words all layered over each other. My voice, my internal monologue, would speak over the top of all of this noise and I would often have extreme trouble concentrating. I grew up thinking that they were a part of me. Do any of you relate to this or have you had a similar expreience? Am I schizoaffective.....or do any other bipolar people experience non-stop psychosis? Thanks.

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Re: Psychosis for 10 years? Can you tell me your experience?

Hi @justthoughts,

 

Welcome to ReachOut!

 

I just wanted to say that was super brave of you to share your experience. This journey must have been incredibly hard for you, and though I cannot say I understand how you must have been feeling, your story gives a small insight into the difficulties you have faced. Thank you for sharing.

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Re: Psychosis for 10 years? Can you tell me your experience?

Wow @justthoughts thank you for sharing your story with us, i think it will make a pretty big difference for people who might be going through the same thing but haven't found the right treatment just yet. How's life for you now? Have things changed much since you stopped having positive symptoms?

 

And there are definitely other people on here who have had similar experiences to you. @ jolly roger is one person who has also shared their story and some of the things that have worked for them in their path to recovery. There are some more too that hopefully see this thread and have a chat to you! Smiley Happy

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Re: Psychosis for 10 years? Can you tell me your experience?

Hi @justthoughts, thanks so much for sharing your story with us here on RO.

 

Reading your post gave me an insight into some of the experiences people can have with psychosis. It certainly sounds really overhwelming.

 

Im sure your story will give hope to others who have experienced similar things to you.

|| Life runs in cycles, the wheel never stops turning, no matter how dark the night morning comes, no matter how cold the winter, spring comes. When you feel despair know that the wheel is turning, joy will come. ||