Suicide Call Back Service: 1300 659 467 http://www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au/
We're genuinely very sorry you feel that way. Reach Out is not a crisis service so we encourage you to call Suicide Call Back Service (mentioned above) which is a crisis line.
We had to remove your post as our community guidelines do not allow posts that may be triggering to others on this board, as well as providing specific medical information. Our guidelines are here: http://forums.au.reachout.com/t5/Welcome-and-Announcements/MUST-READ-ReachOut-com-Guidelines/m-p/16#...
It's very brave of you to reach out about this and although we can't answer your specific question, we hope you reconsider your actions.
Things to check out:
Join the week long discussion about Family Changes here
Apply to be a Volunteer Moderator with this online community!
Share your thoughts in our Special Discussion on Recovery!
Seen something fantastic on the forums?
Click here to nominate awesome posts for a Friday Five!