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TW: I just need someone to help me understand

My partner of 7 years online cheated when our baby was 4 months old and I was in a PPD spiral. He was spending all our money on Blume stuff with females.

he chatted with them and exchanged videos with my belongings and child’s belongings in the back ground. Anyway I found all of this and saw it all made the decision to stay because I have been loved the right way by him before, I want my daughter to have her dad around. 
i told him in order for me to deal he would have to remove females from social media and no longer sell/buy items off them for a period of time

he did not do this. And still to this day speaks with them and hides his phone and will not understand it triggers me. My daughter is almost 2 now and I’m still not trusting, confident comfortable. I have lost my self worth and confidence and just told to get over it it’s been so long . 

Cassed
CassedPosted 31-12-2022 08:53 AM

Comments

 
Bre-RO
Bre-ROPosted 13-01-2023 01:27 PM

Hi there @Cassed

 

I hope it's okay that I chime in on your thread. It's been a few weeks since you reached out to us, and I'm so glad you did. Finding out that your trust had been broken like this must've been agonising. 

 

How is everything going at the moment? 

 

I also want to suggest a support service called Relationships Australia - they provide relationship and family counselling which may help you process what's happened. You can contact them on 1300 364 277 if you'd like to look into it. 

 

We're still here to chat with you when you need as well 💗

 
Taylor-RO
Taylor-ROPosted 31-12-2022 12:50 PM

Hi @Cassed

 

We are so sorry to hear that you have been going through this for such a long time. It must have been so heartbreaking to learn that your partner was cheating on you while you were in a very vulnerable time of your life. Having young children involved can make things a lot more difficult and it can put pressure on you and on the situation. A lot of people find that their self worth and confidence are impacted after being cheated on, so please know that you are not alone. It can take time to repair these aspects of yourself and your relationship. We have an article here on how to cope after being cheated on which might be helpful for you to read. 

 

It seems like you try to talk to your partner about how you feel and you are told to get over it. Is that right? It must be hard to receive that kind of response from him, especially when you are still hurting. Do you have any supports at the moment? Whether they are formal or informal?  

 

Just so you know, we have sent you through an email HeartI also made a small edit to your post to include a trigger warning to make the community aware that your post may contain themes that could be triggering.

 
 
Cassed
CassedPosted 31-12-2022 04:56 PM

I really appreciate your response, and for taking on board what I have to say. It's been difficult as he went from being apologetic to changing and saying it's not actually cheating so I shouldn't be over it so it swirled up anger emotions driven from hurt for me. I have reached out to a friend to talk but I feel they don't understand the lengths when there's a child. And also my inner child that still wants to be protected by a man - my man. Is hard for me to still grasp. 
Thankyou for editing my post for others and emailing me 

 
 
 
Courtney-RO
Courtney-ROPosted 31-12-2022 08:54 PM

Hey @Cassed I'm sorry to hear that you have been experiencing this. That sounds like such a hard and horrible situation to be in. I can certainly understand you feeling angry and hurt though, you have every right to feel this after what you have been through. I can hear just how hard things have been and just want to say that we're glad you reached out to us. No one should have to go through this alone. 

 

I also want to say well done on reaching out to your friend. Even though they may not have grasped the full situation, reaching out takes a lot of courage and I think thats worth acknowledging. 

 

I know it maynot feel like it, but I just want to remind you that you're not alone and we're all here for you 💜

Welcome back!

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