TW:SH TW:Griefline and loss:loosing a loved one first Christmas without my uncle
So haven’t been on here in a while. And I’ve been feeling so crap lately, last year was my first Christmas without my uncle and all I could think about was him and my dad and i miss him so much have been using my circle lately as well it’s been good actually, and I’m stressed about the end of after term 3 when i graduate high school aka graduating year 12 i have to find a job I’m interested in school counselling/ counsellor or being a librarian at the town library in town- with this i don’t know how it’s going to happen because I’m on life skills with my work in everything,
Been having a really hard time these school holidays tho but updated my safety plan and sent it to one of my support people, that have been around that I’ve gone to work experience this past year and been able to trust her around this. And then before the end of year 12 I’m going to write letters for people I’ve gotten to know some of the teachers I’ve spent my whole life around, and I’m kind of scared of what’s going to happen with art because the teacher i had last year left to go teach somewhere else and I’m going to miss her so much this year I’m actually scared what’s going to happen with art this year, i wrote a letter to her before she left to be closer to her parents where they live her parents and her family. My uncle passed earlier this year around June July.
Tulip_starling
Comments
Hi @Tulip_Starling,
Firstly, I want to acknowledge how big of an effort it is to continue using your circle of support, updating your safety plan, and reaching out when you need help. Through this I can see your strength in taking steps toward your well-being, even when things feel overwhelming. 💛
As for graduation, it's totally understandable you're feeling anxious with what lies ahead of you. However, it sounds like you’re already thinking through options like school counseling or being a librarian, which are both amazing paths to go down on. Either way, I'm sure you have the drive and ability to reach your goals!
I'm also sorry to hear about your uncle. Losing someone you love can be so overwhelming, especially when you think about them over the holidays. What you feel is valid and I hope that you continue leaning on your support circle during these tough times, and know that the ReachOut community is also here to support you.
Keep taking things one day at a time.
I'm so proud of you! 🤗
Hi @Tulip_Starling
Wow!!! I am so proud of your SH prevention streak! You are amazing. Seems like you are doing some great stuff with updating your safety plan and the letters you plan on writing sound beautiful.
Year 12 is an exciting and scary time for everyone. I was so scared leaving school not sure what I would do next since I had stayed at the same school since kindergarten it was basically where I spent my whole life hahaha. But change is good, new opportunities and new friends are on the horizon! It is hard but try and embrace the change as change is a part of life!
I wish you all the best for year 12 just try your best and enjoy making memories in your las year of school!
I am sorry about your uncle, grief is hard especially when special days where you would spend time with the passed person come up like christmas. Im proud of you for getting through it. Him passing away in June/July is still very recent, hopefully as time passes the greif will fade and the wonderful memories you have had with him will remain.
I wish you all the best for the new year, and good luck with yr 12 (not that you will need it)
Hi catlover101,
that means so much to me and even if something happens I'll probably end up making a post about it on here to get some support around it.
Tulip_starling
Hey @Tulip_Starling ,
Welcome back, it's nice to see you on here again! I'm so sorry to hear that things have been so rough for you lately, especially with it being your first Christmas since your uncle passed away. I know that grief can be really hard, but even more so around holidays and special occasions when you'd normally have these special people with you. I think that this is a really understandable way to feel. My lovely Nanna passed away about a week ago, and although I was lucky enough to get to spend Christmas with her, it felt really, really hard when NYE rolled around, knowing that I would be going into 2025 without her around. I feel for you and am sending lots of love 💗.
BIG big congrats to you about your SH milestone!!! This is so amazing, I'm so proud of you and I hope you're feeling really proud of yourself too 🥰💗. It's also really great to hear that you've updated your safety plan too and have passed it on to a support person - it sounds like you're doing a wonderful job of taking care of yourself, even while things feel really tough.
It sounds the idea of finishing up school soon is feeling pretty unsettling and nerve-wracking for you, I remember that it absolutely did for me too. I just finished up my bachelors degree at uni last year and i'm feeling really nervous about that and what comes next too, so I definitely get what you mean here. Finishing up school is such a big milestone and while that's really exciting it also means a lot of change too. It's really cool that you're thinking so much about what you're going to do when you finish though, and potential careers you're interested in too! Giving letters to your teachers sounds like such a lovely idea, i'm sure that would make them feel so appreciated 🥰.
Thinking of you, and would love to hear from you again soon 🌷.
Hi scarlet_locust,
Yea it has been really hard I'm sorry about your nan that must be really hard to go through going into new years sending lots of live to you as well.
Thank you for being proud of me.
Thinking of you aswell through this incredibly tough time
Tulip_starling
Hi @Tulip_Starling 🌷
It's lovely to hear from you again, welcome back. I am so sorry to hear you have been feeling crap lately. Christmas is a difficult time for many anyway, and having to experience your first one since losing your uncle must have been so hard. I am so sorry for your loss. If you’d like to take a look, the Grief and loss space here on ReachOut has some resources for anyone experiencing these feelings.
On the other hand, I am glad you have been finding my circle helpful, and I am SO proud of you for reaching over 1 month without self harm. That is an amazing accomplishment and I imagine that couldn't have been easy over during the holiday period. ❤️
It sounds like you are also a bit nervous about art this year and what life may look like after school, which is completely valid. I was also really scared of what life after year 12 would look like. The uncertainty can be super daunting. Is there anything in particular making you nervous about art, or mainly because you are going to miss your previous teacher? It really sucks when your favourite teacher leaves.
Counselling or working in a library sound like awesome jobs! and it's so great you have been thinking about things you may be interested in. The letters to people at school idea is also such a beautiful gesture!
hope to speak again soon 🫶🏻
Hi LilacLeopard14,
Rhe main thing in particular I'm scared about art is because they don't have an art teacher at the moment because they've been looking for one for when the teacher left and before the last day of school they didn't have one at all do I'm scared about what's going to happen.
Tulip_starling
Hey @Tulip_Starling
It is good to hear from you again! I am sorry to hear that things have been so tough lately and sorry to hear about your uncle. Christmas can be an incredibly difficult time for people who are grieving, especially with it being your first year without him. I am really glad to hear that you have been using your circle lately. It is important to lean on others during tough times like Christmas. I was wondering if there was anything else that helped you with your grief over Christmas?
I wanted to share this post with you which I thought you mind find helpful to have a look through. While I know grief can be a very different experience for each person, you may resonate with some of the things shared or advice from others on a similar journey.
I want to acknowledge all the steps you have been taking to take care of yourself – even during such a challenging and difficult time. Even when things have been really hard, it sounds like you have been surrounding yourself with people, taking care of your wellbeing and have updated your safety plan to keep safe. You should be really proud of yourself for taking all these steps.💜
It is also very exciting that you will be graduating high school this year. While it is exciting, stress about leaving school is very common and normal. It is great to hear that you already have thought about what jobs you might want to do when you graduate. They both sound like very rewarding jobs where you are able to connect with people and help others. I know you mentioned that you have been doing work experience this past year and was wondering if this was in a role that you might be interested in pursuing in the future?
I know you also mentioned that you are wanting to write letters for people before you leave school and I think this is such a beautiful idea. I am sure that all your teachers and the people receiving them will really appreciate them. While it must be pretty hard with your art teacher leaving, it is really good that you were still able to give her a letter before she left. I know you also mentioned being scared about what’s going to happen with art this year and was wondering if there are any other teachers you could talk to about this and to let them know about your concerns?
I also wanted to let you know that we will be sending you an email to check in. Could you please keep an eye out for that email?
I have also made a few small edits in your post to make sure it aligns with our community guidelines.
Take care and I hope to hear back from you soon.
Hi bailey_Ro
There wasn't really I guess just hanging out with cousins made me deal with it and not wanting to be sad around them.
I am interested in pursuing what I am doing in work experience in the future after high school after I graduate this year.
I can't really let any of my other teachers know because in my school we can't contact teachers during school holidays but I could try sending one of the teachers an email that I trust.
I'll keep an eye out for the email, because I haven't gotten it yet.
Tulip_starling
