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Re: Social Isolation

Also, I’ve been meaning to say that lately I’ve been worrying a lot about next year because of the US election. I’m afraid that I won’t be able to stop worrying throughout the year because of it, and mostly I’m worried about people’s negative defeatist attitudes; and I believe that nothing good can ever come from that kind of attitude. I don’t want to talk about it much because it’s uncomfortable for me, but if people continue to be so cynical then that’s only gonna make me more worried. But I don’t want to talk about that, all I want to know is are the people around you more positive or negative about next year? Do they think there’s lots of hope for the year?

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Re: Social Isolation

Hi @Bento 

 

To be honest, I haven't really asked or spoken to my friends about your question, so I can't really comment. I'd say my friends and I are generally pretty positive though. 

 

Sometimes things get to us and make us worry and we don't really know why it's having such a big impact on us or how to cope. Do you have any ideas on how to decrease your worry in this situation? What would be helpful for you? 

 

It might be helpful to focus on the positives instead of the defeatist attitudes that exist. I'd also encourage you to check out our Reachout Worrytime app here as it might help you manage the amount of time you spend worrying. 

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Re: Social Isolation

Hi Bento,
It is great that you are doing something you enjoy and love. I have been there as I also kinda feel socially isolated due to difference in cultures since I have only moved to Australia 4 years ago. I also try to meet people who have similar interests as me to have some social bonding. As a peer who have experienced similar thing, I think you are doing great! Carry On!
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Re: Social Isolation

For this year one of my goals is to spend less time in toxic environments, and walk away from stuff that gives me bad vibes. Only problem is, I don't know how much control I have over that, since as you said before we can't control other people. Right now we're talking about enrolling me into a TAFE course in graphic design, but my main concern is that for years now every classroom I've been in has been a bad experience for me because there have always been toxic people that I've been forced to waste my time on. I could go into more depth about it, but it's a long story, so for now I'll just say classrooms just don't work out for me thanks to people having little or no mental health awareness. The only hope I have to go off of is that past classes there were mostly teenagers or 18 year olds, but in the course certificate I'd be doing I imagine it would be more adults. When was the last time you were in a classroom environment for TAFE, uni or school, and was it a good or bad experience? I'd say that adults are more mature and don't bully each other as much, but I'm fully aware that adults can be just as nasty, maybe even moreso.

Also, I've recently subscribed to Audiable, which has lots of audiobooks on self-help for me to listen to. I'm not much of a reader, so being able to listen to these books should help me out a lot.

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Re: Social Isolation

Hi @Bento, I think spending less time in toxic environments is great goal. You're right, sometimes we may be unable to walk away from toxic people or bad vibes. This can put you in a challenging spot and impact your mindset Smiley Sad In this case, you have to think of how you can best protect yourself when you have limited control over the situation/environment. You mention toxic people and bad experiences in these specific environments. So we can understand, do you feel comfortable explaining more about what that looks like? What makes these people/experiences toxic to you? In a general sense without knowing any details, protecting yourself could involve not talking to particular people, seeking professional support, engaging in self-care, keeping to yourself, changing where you sit, setting boundaries, changing classes or even doing some reality checking. I am wondering if you have thought of speaking to a psychologist or counselor? Smiley Happy

Everyone has different experiences, although I have been in university for nearly 6 years now and I can't remember any negative experiences (e.g bullying, nastiness). In my experience, the social side of university (and I assume similar programs) is about how much effort you put in. Most of the time, the lecturers/tutors are talking and so it is difficult to interact with classmates during class time. Your time at university can be as independent or as involved as you would like it to be Heart

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Re: Social Isolation

Well I've noticed that toxic people come in all shapes and sizes. In the last class I went to a group of people were bogans who were obnoxious, loud and completely unaware of their surroundings. They would constantly talk way too loudly in class and it made it hard for me to do any work. The year before in the course I did, there was a teacher's pet who outright bullied one of the other students to the point of harassment, and made really uncomfortable racist jokes, and the teacher enabled him by having hateful inappropriate conversations for the whole class to hear. And back in the school I attended before that, there were many toxic kids. I'll talk about them later tonight.

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Re: Social Isolation

Okay, so as for high school, I don’t wanna go on for too long about it but basically I was in class with someone with serious anger issues who would constantly disrupt the class by creating drama with their whining and tantrums, and someone who had a severe hatred for another kid to the point of threatening and attacking them constantly to the point where I was terrified to be in the same room as him, and so for the rest of that school year I did all my work in the kitchen room where I would be safe. The next year he seemed to be doing much better, but then the year after that he threw all that progress away and reverted back to being angrier and nastier than ever; he forced another classmate into a toxic “friend”ship that consisted of constant harassment and stalking to the point of being extremely unhealthy, and he also developed a hatred for me because he didn’t like the things I talked about even though they were just harmless jokes, while he would often whine and yell, and wouldn’t leave us alone even when we begged for him to stop. That was Year 11 in 2016, and I think that was the peak of my negativity caused by my poisonous surroundings; it got to the point where I became angry and bitter myself, because I learnt that that was just normal now, and since then it’s only gotten worse as I’ve seen much more toxicity on and off the internet that never would have been imaginable a few years ago. It’s terrifying for me to think that the world could have deteriorated to the point of such madness, and it’s made me afraid of society.

 

It’s almost 2020 now, and I feel especially melancholy. I feel like I could have done this year a bit better, but it was very hard for me for many reasons. This hasn’t been my year, but it wasn’t all bad. There are plenty of things from this year I’m grateful for, and I’ve developed more coping strategies and learnt a bit more about myself. I want to devote next year to recovery, doing more things for my mental health and going back to counseling to try and deal with my trauma I’ve built up over so many years.

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Re: Social Isolation

Hey @Bento ,

 

That's a really reflective post, and very honest.  It sounds like 2019 was hard for you but a good learning experience.  I think it's normal to have ups-and-downs over the course of the year, and reflect on things we could have done better.  The fact that you've learned more about yourself and learned some coping strategies can really provide a solid platform for you this coming year. and it sounds like you have a proactive plan moving forward Heart Smiley Happy

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Re: Social Isolation

So I’m just gonna get straight to the point, it’s not secret that this has been a very scary traumatic start to the year because of the fires. I haven’t been affected myself, but I’m still feeling extremely mentally unwell because I’m struggling to process my feelings. However I’ve donated money to support firefighters and communities, and it’s great to see people coming together to help, it shows that there are good people out there. But I still feel very sad and uncertain about this year for thousands of reasons. And lately I have been thinking, if things go horribly, irreversibly wrong this year, I don’t know if I will be able to go on living. I am so sick of false hope, where hopeful good predictions end up being crushed and catastrophic predictions become reality, which just validates my extreme anxiety for the future. I don’t want to be forced to end my life. Things should never have to get that bad, that bleak and hopeless. I have things to live for, and I don’t want the negative things to get so unbearable that it makes me want to die. And I just know I won’t be truly at rest until there is finally justice so the world can start to recover from the state we’ve left it in.

I was feeling very sad and uncertain on New Year’s Eve, and that feeling carried over to the start of the year. Now I’m willing to admit I am not okay, and I need help. That’s why I’m gonna look for a counselor nearby so I can get all the support I need.

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Re: Social Isolation

@Bento  I agree with you that the bushfires have been very traumatic, not just for the people experiencing them but I think it has been a very sombre start to the year for everyone. It has been really hard to read and watch the news at times. Smiley Sad
I think it's amazing that you've donated money to support the firefighters and those affected. You should be proud of yourself. Heart
I really don't want you to end your life. I think it's great that you still have things to live for and want to do in the future. Would it help to write them down so that you can look back on them when you're worried about the future?
I think that seeing a counselor is a great idea. It's so brave of you to tell us your feelings on here, and reach out to people. I know it isn't easy, but I think that it's okay to admit that you're not okay. You've already taken a huge step forward. I hope it all goes well for you. Heart