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The internet said I have general social anxiety disorder, I'm a bit too confused.

Hello, hope your day went well!

 

I'm not sure how to start since this is my first-ever post, but I'll try to make it short 🙂

 

I always feel awful being in a crowd, or talking to a stranger. It has gotten worse to the point where I can't turn my mic on when the tutors ask me to (I personally think it's rude not to do so). Everyone I know has their own problems so I don't know who I can reach out to.

Some say I look like I refuse to socialise with anyone. I always want to, but I feel like every time I do something wrong, people will judge and laugh at me. I'm totally aware that no one will do this, but it still feels horrible to me. This not only makes me feel anxious stepping out of my house but also stops me from finding a job or communicating with anyone.

 

I really appreciate you for reading this long post 😄
Happy to see your shared experiences or tips to get over this! 

Hope you have a great, great day!

 

A little more yapping,

Having a conversation or being forced to interact with people makes me:

  • Feel like I'm going to puke.
  • My who head feel like it's burning.
  • My hands tremble uncontrollably, stuttering, sometimes when it get worse I start shivering. 

I've searched a bit about it but still can't understand how and when this started. My childhood was alright, nothing much happened, my family is great, there's nothing to complain about. I only moved to another country once and lived there since. Living in a completely different place with a different language isn't easy, I actually wonder if it has made me more scared of interacting with people. 

 

Turquoise_Wasp
Turquoise_WaspPosted 30-07-2024 05:56 PM

Comments

 
appletree
appletreePosted 01-08-2024 03:00 PM

Hey! @Turquoise_Wasp Thanks so much for sharing. Talking about things can be so helpful. I hope you know that you are not alone in this. What you are experiencing happens to so so many people, myself included. I have found seeing a psychologist to be incredibly helpful and validating. What support do you have at the moment? Have you found anything to be helpful so far? 

 
Cinnamon_Wombat
Cinnamon_WombatPosted 31-07-2024 01:32 PM

Hey @Turquoise_Wasp ,

Thanks for opening up and sharing your story. Social anxiety can be really challenging, but you're definitely not alone in this. It sounds like you're dealing with a lot, and it's completely understandable to feel the way you do.

Reaching out here is a great first step. It's not easy to talk about these things, but sharing your experiences can really help. Just know that many people can relate to what you're going through, even if it doesn't always seem like it.

If you ever need to talk more or just vent, this is a good place to do it. Sometimes just knowing there are others who understand can make a big difference.

Take care and hang in there! You're doing great by reaching out.

 
snazzy_pigeon
snazzy_pigeonPosted 31-07-2024 12:34 PM

Hey there @Turquoise_Wasp !

First off, welcome to our little corner of the internet! We're happy to have you here and hope you can find some comfort on our forum 😆
Secondly, I am sorry you have been experiencing these symptoms, I can only imagine how frustrating and discouraging it is. From the sounds of it you are experiencing anxiety which I can also relate to in some sense. I don't experience anxiety in regards to socialisation however I do experience it in just general everyday life as a result of ruminating and it is hella draining. So I completely get how you feel.

I will say it's good that you have identified the triggers for your anxiety! And it is the first step to managing it. For me it has taken years to figure out what makes me tick haha. As for why/how this anxiety developed, it can be related to language barrier issues and moving to another country as you mentioned. If you want to explore this more I highly recommend talking to a therapist, counsellor or even using some other resources from the articles @Stormy-RO mentioned. Especially since it seems to be impacting your abilitiy to complete daily tasks such as going outside, finding a job etc. 

Something that personally help me with my anxiety is "distracting" my senses in a way. I do this by rubbing my fingers over a very textured object such as a zipper or smelling something strong yet relaxing. I highly recommend small lil essential oil tubes for the smelling one or even when you're doing zoom calls having a nicely scented candle nearby. 

Once again, welcome to our forum and I hope my advice helps out a little bit! ❤️

 
Matcha_Toad
Matcha_ToadPosted 31-07-2024 08:46 AM

Hi @Turquoise_Wasp

Firstly, I just want to say that I am so very proud of you for making your first post on here and sharing what you have been experiencing with us all; this can be a challenging thing to do, especially for those with anxiety, but you did it and that's amazing!

What you have written resonated deeply with me. I've always had bad anxiety, but it worsened during and after high school and has impacted all areas of my life. I used to struggle so much going out in public; my anxiety symptoms would be so prominent, and my brain would just hyperfocus on my physical symptoms (trembling, shaky voice, flushed cheeks etc) and worry if others could see I was anxious. I also used to avoid turning on my camera and mic in online classes.

It can truly feel like an internal warzone with wanting and longing to be able to talk to others but having that anxiety prevents you from doing so. I also would worry so much about saying the wrong thing and embarrassing myself in some way when talking to someone, and I'd overthink every single social interaction after it's been had. Anxiety can truly have such a strong grip on us and can stop us from achieving the things that we want.

It can be difficult to identify when the anxiety started or why it started, I do think that moving from one country to another, especially to a country that uses a different language, can make social interactions more daunting/challenging. It's good that you have tried thinking about how and when the anxiety started. Would you be open to speaking to a counsellor? I understand talking to a counsellor while having bad anxiety can be challenging, and it took me a while to find the right match myself and get comfortable opening up. 

I've only started getting control over my anxiety this year (I'm 22, for reference). I've missed out on a lot of opportunities because of my anxiety, but I have a whole lifetime of opportunities ahead of me, just like you 💚 Finding the right counsellor really helped, and I've gotten so comfortable talking to them that I don't feel anxious at all before an appointment like I used to. I also finally started taking an SSRI a month ago, and it's worked so well for me and it's reduced my symptoms; I went on a 2 week holiday on a whim and even ordered my own food at restaurants (something I could never do in the past due to anxiety). The medicine I take has also helped me remain calm in stressful situations; I can actually implement one thing/one day at a time, in my day-to-day life, which is amazing.

I will say that medications work differently for everyone, if it's something you'd be interested in I'd recommend booking in a long consult with a GP, talk about your experience with anxiety and go from there. 

I want you to know that you are absolutely not alone in your experience, and we're all here for you!

- Matcha_Toad 🐸🍵💚

 

 
Stormy-RO
Stormy-ROPosted 30-07-2024 08:48 PM

Hey @Turquoise_Wasp welcome to the community!

 

I wanted to start off by commending you for opening up about the struggles you've been facing recently. It sounds like feeling anxious in social situations is really impacting on your life, from not being able to socialise like you want to not being able to turn your mic on in class. It must be a really tough experience to have so many physical sensations when you try to interact with people too. I wanted to say that even if you're not quite sure where these feelings came from, they're no less valid and deserving of support.

 

There have been some great suggestions on this post already, but I wanted to give you some resources from ReachOut which might be helpful. This article on social anxiety has some guidance and suggestions on how you can manage similar experiences. We also have this article on how to get help for anxiety. Hopefully these resources combined with some of the suggestions already made can help you decide on what steps you might want to take 😊 Looking forward to hearing from you soon!

 
 
Turquoise_Wasp
Turquoise_WaspPosted 31-07-2024 06:44 PM

Hello @Stormy-RO

Thanks for sharing the two articles and for the lovely welcome!

Reading them helped me understand that my state is not as bad as I worried. I will definitely start with small steps of self-care, and talking to others in online classes will be the next big step. 😁

So happy to see your response. Hope you have a great time ahead! 😊

 

 
Scarlet_Bird
Scarlet_BirdPosted 30-07-2024 08:28 PM

Hi @Turquoise_Wasp

 

Great job at writing your first post!!! It seems like you've been having a really tough time. I also struggle with anxiety so I can share some of you're feelings, especially with talking to strangers. for me, I get very hot and red in the face and my hands shake as well. I feel like its taking a while for me to be more comfortable in social situations, and even though I still don't like it, I've definitely improved on how I handle them.

 

Although I appreciate these might not be best suited to you, here are some things that I do to help calm down if I am feeling anxious. Box breathing is a big one for me. Basically, you breath in for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, out for 4 seconds and hold for 4 seconds. This helps to physically relax my body and is pretty unnoticeable to others. Nobody has ever commented on me doing this as all I am doing is breathing slower. If you have a second alone, you can also push your palms together really hard for 10 seconds then release. This relaxes your muscles and releases some tension. Another tip is to pretend your someone else. This one is a bit random and I might've made it up but basically what I do is think of someone (real or imagined) and take on their confidence. think about how they would act, react, speak; anything socially they might do and try it out yourself. It's really one way to "fake it till you make it".

 

I'd also really suggest talking to someone your close with about how your feeling. This has also really helped me to not feel alone in my feelings and get some advice from people who know me better. You've already taken a massive step in talking about it in your post and you should be really proud of yourself!! Feel free to reach out if you want to chat more 😊

 
 
Turquoise_Wasp
Turquoise_WaspPosted 30-07-2024 10:18 PM

Hiya, @Scarlet_Bird,

It is so annoying when we turn into a roasted tomato in the middle of a conversation. It's awesome that you found your own methods for calming yourself in those stressful situations. Congratulations! 😆

Yes, box breathing certainly is one of the best ways I use to comfort and distract myself from feeling worried without being so obvious. The palms pressing sounds like it will help with shaky hands a lot. I'll try it in tomorrow's class for sure!

"Fake it till you make it" 😁 can't wait to try it as soon as I can. That one is the most interesting method someone has ever told me.

I've actually grown a habit of not holding eye contact to cope with it (if I can't see that you're judging me, I won't be so stressed out). It helps a lot but also makes me seem like a rude person, so I probably will stop doing that.

Sharing my thoughts on this platform made me realize that I'm really not the weird one. I'm so glad I decided to speak up for once. 😊

Your words and suggestions mean a lot to me, thank you so so so much!

I hope you can comfortably enjoy all the social occasions one day.

Wishing you all the best! 

 
 
 
Scarlet_Bird
Scarlet_BirdPosted 03-08-2024 10:47 AM

Hey @Turquoise_Wasp !

 

I'm really glad I could help!! I also used to feel alone in it but at the end of the day anxiety is pretty common. It's nice to hear about other peoples experiences with it so we don't feel alone. Even along the lines of "fake it till you make it" you can try and think that whoever you're talking to is feeling the same way as you. For me, this takes a lot of pressure off the situation. Also, I avoid eye contact as well 👀 I try and look at people when they are talking to me so they feel that I'm listening but often avert my gaze to something in the room rather than looking at them.

 

Good luck for your classes! We've got this!!!!

 
LilacLeopard14
LilacLeopard14Posted 30-07-2024 06:31 PM

Hi @Turquoise_Wasp👋

 

welcome to ReachOut! It's nice to meet you. I am sorry to hear you have been struggling with social interaction. I imagine it would be quite scary to have all these feelings and not know what is causing them. You are completely valid in feeling anxious and confused, and I'm sure you are definitely not alone - I also struggle with anxiety in social situations that people would regard as ‘normal’.

I know it seems like everyone can be busy with their own problems, but is there anyone you feel comfortable talking to about this to provide support? maybe a family member? Additionally, the Social Anxiety Disorder  page here on ReachOut has some great resources and more specific information to check out.

 

Overall you should be super proud of yourself for recognising these feelings and seeking support. I believe in you! sending love 🫶🏻

 
Scarlet_Locust
Scarlet_LocustPosted 30-07-2024 06:27 PM

Hi @Turquoise_Wasp !

 

Welcome to ReachOut and congrats on your first post! 🎉 

 

Also, thankyou for sharing, I really do resonate with a lot of what you're describing here. I'm really sorry to hear that you're feeling this way a lot at the moment. It sounds like social situations are causing you lots of anxiety and nervousness at the moment in a way that's really starting to impact your daily life. I'm a fairly introverted and anxious person myself and I really understand what you mean about how debilitating and horrible some of the more physical symptoms of anxiety can be. 

 

I also hear you about feeling unsure about who to reach out to for fear of burdening others. I've definitely felt this way in the past too. One thing I will say though is that generally, people who you are close to will want to be able to support you if they can at all. This said, I'm wondering if there might anyone in your life who you feel you might be able to have a chat with about all of this? I find that when I'm struggling, it really helps to even just know that there is someone on my side, who understands what i'm going through, and who I know I can talk to.

 

I'm also wondering whether you would feel open at all to reaching out for more formal support as well? I know that Kids Helpline have some services available to young adults, but having a chat with your GP can also be a great place to start - it's pretty easy to get a referrals to counselling or psychology services. Of course, all of this is just a suggestion and it's completely up to you 💜

 

Also, please don't apologise for the length of your post! We're all here to chat and support eachother!

I'm sending lots of care your way 💛.

 
 
Turquoise_Wasp
Turquoise_WaspPosted 30-07-2024 09:24 PM

Hello @Scarlet_Locust,

Thank you for your warm welcome!

Being an introvert and anxious person is probably not a pleasant experience in social situations. 😅

I'm lucky to have wonderful friends and family by my side, but since we don't share the same thoughts, I decided not to stress them out even more. However I will definitely seek professional help if things get out of hand in the future. 💗

I'm so happy to have found this safe space and all the kind people like you. I hope everything goes wonderfully for you!

 

 

 

 
Be_the_Light
Be_the_LightPosted 30-07-2024 06:14 PM

Firstly, @Turquoise_Wasp, Wow!!! Your courage to share this is incredibly brave. As someone who has experienced what you think you might be going through, sharing these feelings can be terrifying especially for someone who feels socially anxious. I struggled with very similar feelings all through high school and didn’t receive any support until just before I started University. These feelings developed similar to you where I transitioned to high school and lost connections with friends. Speaking about it was the best thing that I ever did and I went on to complete a degree in Psychology. 

While there is some really great strategies online such as grounding and breathing exercises, it’s hard to know what will help you without seeking out additional support. It’s great that you have been able to identify your feelings and get an idea of what might be happening and you have already done an incredibly huge step of sharing this with us. You should be proud! Here if you would like to chat some more 😊

 

 
 
Turquoise_Wasp
Turquoise_WaspPosted 30-07-2024 08:51 PM

Hi @Be_the_Light,

Thanks for replying to my post.
I'm glad that I decided to share this, it's comforting to know that someone else has gone through something similar and come out better.

But wow! Psychology sounds like the best thing to learn. It reminds me of the sweet, lovely counselours in high school. 😊

I will deffinitely try the breathing exercises you mentioned.

Wishing you all the best on your journey!

 
 
 
Be_the_Light
Be_the_LightPosted 30-07-2024 09:41 PM

I am so glad that you have found some comfort in hearing other peoples experiences @Turquoise_Wasp

 

It has been really great! Studying something you’re passionate about can teach you a lot not only academically but personally and I never would have pursued it without the experiences that I’ve had! 

There are a lot of great apps that I personally use for stress and anxiety in general. Smiling Mind is definitely one of my favourites because it’s easy to use! I also sometimes use the 54321 grounding method. You identify 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell and 1 thing you can taste. I would definitely seek out some resources for some simple strategies you can add to your daily routine. These are things anyone can do to reduce anxiety! 😊

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