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What do i do?

so basically my best friend who i had at one time considered a sister, and i her brother, and i havent spoken for two minths. before you judge and say get off these forums just let me explain.

 

Me and "Carol" were enemies for a year, and the closest you could be for another. we told eachother everything, there were truly no boundaries in our conversations. anyway i met some bad people last year and her and i beganto drift, i managed to fix it and it was going fine until two months ago.

I had recently relapsed onto weed and alcohol, and i attempted to confide in her what was happening. she proceeded to call ameeting with the co-ordinators and almost my parents.

She was inside their office and i did the only thing i could to stop it, you see, if my parents knew what i had and still am doing, id be out in an instant, so i said to her that everything i told her was an "attention seeking lie"

 

we havent spoken in two months, and everytime i try to talk to her, she either ignores me, blows me off, or yells at me. 

do you guys know anything i can do? i am completely lost without her, i dont know who i am, or anything i once thought i knew.

 

has anyone gone through a similar situation? if so or even if you havent, do you guys think there is anyway her and i could be good again.

 

-Madnexx

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Re: What do i do?

Hi @Madnexx welcome to the ReachOut forums!

 

Please feel free to keep posting in the forums, as part of the community guidelines you won't be judged on anything you post. It might be a good idea to check out the guidelines just so you have an idea about what they are Smiley Happy

 

It sounds like you are going through such a difficult time not being able to turn to your friend right now as you would normally. That can be really hard especially if they are someone you turn to for support regularly. It seems like she does care about you by calling that meeting, but she might not have realised how that would affect you. Why do you feel she is acting the way she is? 

 

Also, you mentioned that you have turned to alcohol and weed lately. Has anything caused you to start using these substances? Do you feel they may be having a negative impact on your life? If so, it might be a good idea to check out these fact sheets on alcohol and weed

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Re: What do i do?

Hey @Madnexx, thanks for sharing your story. I'm sorry to hear that you're not as close with Carol as you used to be, it sounds like your really miss her friendship. You wouldn't be the first, or only, person to lie to protect yourself. Are you done with weed and booze now? Perhaps you could write Carol a letter or an email and explain why you acted the way you did, that you're sorry for any hurt your caused her and you're now clean and sober. It's never too late to try and save a good friendship, and I hope you can both forgive and move past it.

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Re: What do i do?

I lost my best friend recently over something similar. It broke me, can't help but i understand.
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Re: What do i do?

Hey @Madnexx,

 

I'm really sorry to hear that your friendship with Carolhas spiralled downward and that this has put you in a negative place where you feel stuck. 

 

How have things been going lately? Have you tried making contact with her recently? You could check out this fact sheet that I thought could help you out a bit.

 

Have you got any goals in your life at the moment? @mishaps, this could help you too!

 

Lahna

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Re: What do i do?

 Hi,

 

 I realise that this post was a week ago, so I thought I would check. How are you coping? 

 

Im sorry to hear that you're going through such a hard time. I say this becuase I know how hard it is to experience fallout with your best friend. Sometimes it's can feel as bad as a breakup from a romantic realtionship so you're allowed to feel everything that you're feeling. 

 

Do you think that what she did was right? in terms of involving the co-ordinator?  Perhaps she really cares about you and wanted to make sure you didn't go too far. Im not saying that she was right to do that but she may have thought that it was the right thing to do. Regardless, it sounds like you've put in the effort to talk to her and make things right with her. But you cant force a friendship. That's what I've learnt from my recent experience.You can only do your best and not fight fate too much. I am no longer close with my best friend of 8 years and that has been hard for me. I tried to fix it but it was little things that both of us had done that got us to this point. There was no fixing it because it had just been too long since we were 100%. it's hard to believe that one minute you are lauging hysterically on the floor and the next minute this person is a stranger. Just because you are no longer close, it doens't mean that you never had a real realtionship. not every relationship has to last forever, people grow apart and it's compeltely normal, even the most genuine realtionships experience fallout. I chose to be postiive about my situation and  decided that I was grateful for those years we had together, and perhaps it was time for me to expereince new realtinships and most importantly, continue to disover how I've grown over the years.

 

My advice to you is to stop forcing that frienship and focus on yourself, focus on finding your peace and finding ways to stay positve. Going down a destructive path after a break up or a fallout is only damadging to yourself. You have to pick up the pieces and believe that you are worth everything good. We all make mistakes (literally, eveyone just screws up differently). I genuinely belive that you will attract good people and positive vibes when you're in the right state of mind. So believe that more amazing people will come your way. Maybe in time, at the right time you and your best friend might find your common ground again. Do your best with your friend and if it doens't work, let it go, forgive her and forgive yourself and look towards better thing. I'm as good as gold and I didn't need my friend to validate my existence. Neither do you ! 

 

Have a great week. Please let me know how it goes Smiley Happy

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Re: What do i do?

 

My friend keeps taking my things out of my bag at school and using my phone. I have told the teacher who I trust mosted but it's still not being delt with and I also feel like I'm puting alot of my problem on the teacher because it keeps happening. I really don't want to lose my trust on the teacher as she is a really nice person. PLEASE help before anything else really happends. 

 

P.S this was really hard to write because I asways keep everything to my self and I felt really bad from saying what my friend has done. 

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Re: What do i do?

Hey @Cray cray202, thanks for opening up about what's worrying you at the moment.

I'm sorry to hear you are having a hard time with your friend and your favourite teacher, and I'd really like for you to get the best out of the community to find a solution for your situation. Would you be interested in starting a new thread about this? By starting a new thread about what is worrying you, more of the RO community will see your post and be able to help you with their experience.

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Re: What do i do?

Hi @Kit

 

I guess that it would be a good idea about starting a new thread. As long as people would help with what I'm going through.

But It does kind of sound good. 

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Re: What do i do?

@Cray cray202 Of course we'll help. That is what the RO community is all about – help and support Smiley Happy