friend im not really sure about

it’s the end of the year, and i have this one friend. ive known them for two years as a distant classmate, and yes they did seem rather nice. however, this year, after i split up with two friends who always left me out and did things behind my back (yeah lots of crying behind my screen), i seeked out for that friend who ill call person A. they became my venting buddy, after they saved me from a grooming incident (oh yep most of this was online). not to mention, they also had a few other friends, person B who was the closest, person C who was the second closest to them, and person 1 who began to make friends with them around the same time as me, and person 2 who made person 1 mutual friends with person A, B, and C. i had known person A as a blunt but nice person before, and yes they were intj while i was infj, so feelings matter to me a lot, while their “rationality” matters to them more. our friendship started out rather nice, well not the best but it was better than my previous one. they called me a replacement for person 2 who was a more energetic and loud person then me, and i refused to be called that. little did i know that person A would soon turn their back on me. so things did go well, they complimented my art kindly, laughed at some of my jokes, and hung out with me both in real life and online. but since they were my venting buddy, they of course did let me vent to them. and so i did. my vents were listened to, and person A would nod along or agree excitedly. soon, they started complaining to me, about my other old friends (from an older school and we only talked online), but only very lightly. i soon fell in to their trap and began to think that they were right, since i trusted them. then, i started complaining about the old friends. i knew they weren’t horrible people at heart, but person A said in a “professional and experienced” manner that one of my two old friends were gaslighting me. i wondered about whether it was true. and soon, person A managed to convince me that the old friend did in fact gaslight me. however for the other old friend, i remained to like them. and also, person A seemed to care about me, but i had a feeling that person A and B but probably not C were talking behind my back. at that point, i had grown sick of how they stopped complimenting me and my art, and how they inserted memes and seemed to ignore me a lot. soon, i asked politely if they had a situation and if they did not want to tell, i would ignore that it ever happened. they replied with a meme. it said “i am not ignoring you, i just do not have the mental capacity to reply to every single message everyone sends.” i nodded along and said ok, as i do in fact reply to every single message so no one feels neglected despite having a huge family situation and an unhealthy mental state. then, i began talking about mbti. they followed, saying that they were intj and posted memes about not caring about people’s feelings and choosing rationality and truth over feelings. they began to send me confrontations and accusations of things i didn’t do, stating that they had human decency whole i had none at all. person A seemed to hate me. things about the “venting” also escalated. i had began to complain about half of the people i knew, not keeping it in since i trusted them with my secrets. then, they began telling me that i was emotionally abusing someone i knew in real life after asking someone if they remembered how i looked like after 3 years and sending a picture of my face, in which they lightheartedly replied that i looked more depressed and older. person A was also complaining about that person who said i looked sadder, saying that they never took anything seriously. i did begin to complain, for one day, but stopped after realising what person A had done to that friend (they made them cry behind their screen), and said i wouldn’t badmouth them anymore. after that, i began to talk to person A less, and wouldn’t complain anymore. i began to fear seeing new messages and notifs from them, expecting them to be more accusations. i began to fear if they were talking bullsh*t behind my back. it was a dreadful experience. and at that point, i distanced myself from them in real life, and began to hang out with person 1 more. person A talked bad about person 1 a LOT. i began to defend the people they complained about. 

it was too late.

yesterday, a big incident happened. my friend accused me of being unreasonable, of saying that people were cool, and of saying the next minute, that i would no longer badmouth them. i said that i was trying my best to fix everything. they said my trying would not help, and i was lying about it. i felt hurt, but i refrained from telling them what they’d done still. they then accused me of not telling them about the luck i had in a game, since they saw my post on it in a public server. i had not told person A about it, since they had wanted the character and i know the feeling when someone gets something you want a lot but you don’t have it. they continued talking with that icy wording, i cried. my eyes got puffy. it was the worst friendship, i admit, id ever have yet. they left my in real life server, but didn’t unfriend me yet. person A only talked to me after they got me a fake web where i entered my crush in there, i got tricked. they gave me a teasing laughter then went off. i tried to back off so they could have their peace. one hour after, i tried to apologise. my efforts were neglected. person A shut me out and said i was trying to make them pity me. they continued on (oh this was in dms by the way) and said that “the worst thing about you when you try to fix things is that you end up indirectly placing the blame on someone else when you say it’s your own fault.” i said no im being honest, but they just said “g4u”. they soon rejoined the server, and left saying “i have ss of you badmouthing people”. soon they rejoined a lot, and began spamming our chat with inappropriate sex messages about Dream, and saying “just ban me already”. meanwhile, a person we’ll call person D told me that person A and B were “venting” about me behind my back (they had evidence). i was already too far beyond upset; with no one to talk to about it (except the old friends I’d explained to about why i badmouthed them and they were very understanding). they soon messaged in that chat that they had screenshots of me saying things that i trusted them with, and said they could blackmail me but they weren’t bothered to since they found other things amusing. then, they sent it. however my old friends already knew the situation, so we were all good. then, i had to go to sleep and ended up taking a sleeping pill since i couldn’t sleep. it was a hard day.

today i decided not to go to school, since i am really terrified of what person A and B and possibly C would treat me. here i am writing this, about 1 hour before person A will come back and say something to my 3rd explanation. im scared. help.

oh yes im gonna write a bit more to explain this situation