i dont wanna start driving

Hi @yeah_it_tahtperson! 

It's totally okay to not want to drive, especially if it feels intimidating for you to do so. Quite of a few of my friends haven't got their P's (One is 21 now) for a few reasons, one being because they live in the city so they take public transport all the time, and another reason is just because they don't have the need to learn how to drive. And it's perfectly normal to feel nervous about driving, you aren't alone in that area. 

Although, if it is something you want to end up doing in the future, having someone you really trust who can supervise you as you drive can really help, even if it's an older friend who's on their open license or a family member. It's a shame that the driving instructor ghosted you, have you tried contacting another driving instructor who can do a free trial for you so you can get into the groove of driving?  And no pressure into getting your P's straight away, I know you got this 😇

Wishing you all the best ❤️

Hi @yeah_it_tahtperson 

Driving can be scary when you first start. I know that I found it stressful when I first started my L's. It can be intimidating to be controlling such a large piece of machinery. When you first start driving there's a lot of thought that goes into what you're doing, and then as you become more experienced it all becomes an afterthought. Its so normal to be nervous about your L's!

Do you have anyone in your life that can take you driving in their car? It can be good to gain some confidence behind the wheel with a person you're already familiar with, it can be more comforting that way. Although I understand sometimes it can be difficult to find someone in your life willing, or available, to teach you the basics. It can also be comforting just to sit behind the wheel of a stationary car, and get familiar with all of the buttons and gears and how the wheels move when you turn the wheel.

Driving lessons can be super expensive. In my experience, finding a driving instructor is useful because they can give you tips on what driving assessors will be looking out for and take you on common driving test routes. Getting into these habits early (like checking the mirrors every few seconds) will ensure better chance at success when you come to your test. I'm not sure what state you live in, but if you search YouTube you may be able to find videos from some driving instructors explaining what they're doing as they drive. Watching these videos, and watching them take me on the different driving test routes, was a big factor in me passing my driving test (after three attempts). For example, because I live in WA, I watched a YouTube channel called "Driving School WA" with driving instructor "Steve" and his videos were so helpful because he points out the different technicalities of driving for Learners while he's driving. I'm sure you'll be able to find similar videos from your state that are state-specific, as some of the traffic laws may slightly differ between states (though much of the knowledge is transferable/similar).

Best of luck with your L's 💜

Hi @yeah_it_tahtperson 

I can totally relate to the reluctance to start driving - I waited a year before starting my Ls out of fear, my best friend took 2 years on his Ls to finish his hours and my younger brother has been very reluctant to start driving on his Ls. You are not at all alone in feeling overwhelmed and intimidated by driving. 

That sucks that you were ghosted by that driving instructor, and I hope this doesn't dissuade you from taking other driving lessons because most will be much more professional than that. If you do find the money for driving lessons, I had lessons with an instructor trained in helping anxious people which was really helpful for building confidence with someone who understood how hard and scary learning to drive can be. Also, it'll depend where you live but there are some organisations like the PCYC or the salvation army which have free driving lessons for people who don't have the money or resources for lessons. 

Great work getting your Ls that's a great first step and there's no rush in getting your hours; you've got multiple years to get them done anyway. If you have someone in your life you're able to practise with, I'd suggest giving driving a go when you do feel ready. There's no need to rush into anything difficult, but getting the ball rolling and having a go in the car even for just 5 minutes can help make the experience less and less stressful each time you try. Personally, I've had a lot of trouble avoiding anxious situations and it always leads to the situation becoming scarier and scarier every time I avoid it - but only you know you and if you feel like you aren't ready to start you don't need to force yourself.

It's hard to imagine before you get your licence but having the ability to drive is really helpful and gives you a lot of freedom, even if you don't drive very often. It's a good plan to keep your mind open to the option of starting regardless of whether you want to start now.

Good luck on this journey, and don't forget it's the same as any other skill, you will build confidence with practise.

Hey @yeah_it_tahtperson, 

I had the same thing happen to me. A driving instructor also ghosted me, after one lesson; I remember it being a huge knock on my confidence. I didn't have a lot of support with building up my hours either- and gosh lessons are expensive! I remember feeling embarrassed and ashamed, wouldn't talk about it with anyone, and get frustrated when people bought it up. That being said, I think it's great that you have reached out to share how you are feeling. 🙂

Despite my setbacks, I still got my license! It took me a while, but I was doing it at my pace, in a way that suited both my comfort and what I could afford. I was also very lucky to find a cool instructor who catered the lessons to the way I learnt best. If/when you feel ready to try lessons- I'd recommend asking friends about who their instructor was and researching online to make sure that you're paying for an experience that is going to be best for you. 

It seems like getting your license doesn't feel like an urgent thing, and because of that I think it's fine to take however long you need with it. I even had some co-workers at a previous job who were in their mid-twenties and didn't have their license, simply because they didn't feel ready, and that really showed me how okay it is! Another point is that having a car and a license is a financial commitment, (which I know I wasn't ready for when I started uni!) so again, do it when you truly feel ready!

Learning something like driving is a big step, and being on the road can feel scary. But, I hope that my experience can stand as something for you to relate to, to show you that taking your time can pay off. 

I'll be around on this thread if you want to chat more about it!

Hey @yeah_it_tahtperson 

You're not alone in feeling this way - lots of people get nervous around driving. When I got my license a few years ago it was very scary at the start! I can totally understand how overwhelming everything must feel. It’s completely normal to feel demotivated, especially with all the challenges you’ve mentioned. I know money can be an issue, lessons can be super expensive. Do you have any supportive adults in your life who would be willing to give you some time to practice? Even if they are not instructors, they have a lifes worth of driving experience which can be very helpful. I only got a few lessons, and my Dad helped me with the rest. You may also be able to find some great driving resources online, such as YouTube, which can help with theory and give you some more confidence on the road rules.

The fact that you’re still thinking about it shows you’re not giving up! Having your drivers license is a super helpful and valuable thing, and I’m sure your future self with thank you for gaining the courage to give it ago!

Remember, there is no rush to moving onto your Ps. Take it slow, so you can gradually gain your confidence on the road, without intimidating yourself.

I wish you the best of luck 💛