what if im the problem but no one wants to tell me
thought about this more as i look upon past messages, how friendships have weakened and hangouts have decreased in frequency.
i don't think its a pure coincidence that the activities simply don't interest them or the dates don't work out, if they wanted to catch up with me surely they'd arrange an alternative date right? no. maybe I'm surrounded by lazy people but i feel like the people i want to get close with don't want to get close with me, but they are never open as to why,
i don't feel like I'm going to take seeing people 5 times a week for granted if i cant build a meaningful relationship with them (even if I've known them for 4-5 years). We cant seem to develop mutual interests which gives us less things to connect with, because the negativity bias exists no one seems to find positive things. sometimes i just want someone to tell me that I've been a shitty person in the past, but that's its OK because there are ways i can improve and grow from that. its happened once with someone but we've gotten close again since so i wonder why this cant happen with my own friends.
i feel like I'm surrounded by people who don't want to help themselves, surrounded by people who don't know how to empathise with others, surrounded by people who cant take me seriously. cohort morale feels non-existent so i don't feel like i belong whatsoever. no one can perform magic even during such a shitty time of life (end of year 12), there's no hope ahead, i wonder what the fuck ima gonna miss about year 12 let alone high school. not my friends cos if i ask someone what they wanna do they tell me they don't know or don't wanna do anything if i suggest something they decline i literally cant win, gonna end up as a depressed unemployed first yr uni student next year, i absolutely cant wait.
Comments
It sounds like you’re going through a really tough and confusing time, feeling disconnected from those around you and unsure about your relationships. It’s completely understandable to feel frustrated and hurt when it seems like others aren’t putting in the same effort to maintain and strengthen your friendships. Feeling down and isolated in this situation is completely understandable.
Have had a chance to talk to your friends about how you’re feeling? Open communication can often be really helpful, as sharing your feelings and understanding their perspectives can help bridge some of the gaps that have been left unspoken.
You mentioned wondering whether you might be contributing to the problem, and I'm wondering if you have received any feedback or evidence about this, or if there could be other factors influencing the situation?
We have two types of friendship quizzes that might help you explore other reasons for what’s happening. You can find them here and here.
The end of year 12 is a particularly stressful time for many people. It’s possible that your friends are more focused on their own anxieties and uncertainties, which could affect their engagement in friendships. Luckily this phase is temporary, and hopefully new opportunities for connection and growth will come with whatever you choose to do next.
Do you have any plans for this Sunday afternoon/evening?
Take care 🌷
