Helping my Grandma beat Stroke, will anyone be able to help.
After experiencing severe depression this year, I isolated myself from the rest of the world. After I heard the news about my grandma who was admitted to hospital in an emergency as for experiencing 2 major life-threatening conditions, one being a stroke and the other being a heart attack simultaneously, I was shattered, my small family of 4 were broken. I decided to harm myself in the first few weeks after seeing my grandma in ICU, it was the most heartbreaking experience of my life. I only ate whenever I was given the phone to hear her voice. My grandma had not eaten for 60-70 days a miraculously survived as the doctors informed us that this is quite rare to see stroke patients make it past the 40-day mark of not eating. She was given a 2nd chance, and with all our will and effort, I fought to get her back home before her health begins to deteriorate as she stays in the hospital. I made a promise that from all the bad experiences my grandparents faced up until now, I want to be the one to change it for good. My grandmother although is not my biological mother, she took the role of a mother to raise me as her own while my single mother had to work hard to keep a roof over our heads. I have this mentality where I do not care what I do to myself as long as my loved ones return back to their normal lives. My grandma is bedbound paralyzed on the left side, there is hope for recovery as long as she has sensations.
Comments
Hi @Speedy01. Thankyou for reaching out 
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandma and how you've been struggling as well. Please take care of yourself, you deserve every bit of it and it's what your grandma would want too I'm sure. Sending my love and wishes that she makes a speedy recovery, and let us know how you've been going if you feel comfortable doing so. We're here for you
Hi @Speedy01! Welcome to the forums!
I'm so sorry to hear about what happened with your grandma. 😞 It can be so difficult when someone in your family is ill and I'm not surprised that it made you feel so down and anxious. I'm glad that your grandma made it through that awful time. You sound like you care so much about her and I'm sure that your love for her inspired her to keep going.
How are you doing now? What have you been doing to cope with all of this?
Thinking of you and your grandma.
Hey @Speedy01, it really sounds like you are having a hard time at the moment, I just wanted to let you know that we are all here to support you along the way 
I wanted to check in with you, see how everything is going now?
It can be such a difficult time of year, especially with family being unwell, you can definitely feel the weight on your shoulder sometimes so I wanted to see if you're practicing any self care, or whether you might be interested in seeing what some of our community members use to help them
We look forward to hearing from you
@Speedy01 I am really happy to hear you are receiving some support from your university counsellor, I can imagine the fear you might feel when going deeper into those conversations, but it takes a lot of courage to make that step, so I am really proud of you.
It's completely okay to lack motivation in some areas that you may have been interested in, it all comes with time and growth. I think you should be really proud of yourself for stepping out of your comfort zone and regaining your strength to do outdoor activities! Inviting your friends along is a great idea, it can become something fun 
I think it's amazing that you're able to notice how big of a step you have made, and you have completely done that with your own strength
Hi @Speedy01 ,
We are so deeply sorry to hear about your grandma being so unwell. I can hear how important she is to you, and it sounds like she's an incredibly resilient person. It can be a terrifying and helpless feeling seeing our loved ones so unwell. I'm wondering if you have been connected with a social worker from the hospital? They may be able to help you find support options for both your grandma to help her return home, and for you and your family.
I'm also sorry to hear that you have experienced severe depression and self harm, it shows a lot of strength to reach out for help. Have you had any professional support to help you through this at all? Headspace can be a great place to start to look for support options, they have in person and online support services , and if you'd prefer online services Beyond Blue offer online chat and phone counselling. We also have a list of services that are available 24/7 for urgent help here
I also just wanted to let you know that I had to make a few edits to your post, I've sent you an email so just keep an eye out for that. I've also moved your post to the something's not right section of our forums, so that you can get more community support
Do you have any family or friends that you can lean on for support at the moment? We are always here to chat
Thanks Janine,
Yes, I have attempted to seek upfront support. I am currently undertaking counselling sessions at uni. It gets pretty deep and personal upon confrontation. And thank you so much for the support and recommendations.
