Learning more about myself and following up
Hello again,
I just wanted to follow up on a few responses I've had from my last post. I fo discuss my mental health with my mum and sometimes its hard because she's very much an "inspiring" speaker. Like earlier today I was talking about my hatred towards rejection and she replied with "I never taught you to be like that, don't be afraid of rejection just don't pay it any mind". I then urged her to do more research on BPD for my sake.
As for seeing a gp, it's kind of a difficult situation at the moment. The doctors near me aren't very good people in general. Every appointment I've gone to, my doctor has always brought up my weight. Not as a reason for my health problem or why I ended up at the doctors that day, but as an unsolicited "come again and we'll make a plan to shed that weight off". I have PCOS and am already on a plan, which she knew, but she still chooses to point out that I'm fat every time I see her.
Now for what I am here to share. I have graciously taken it upon myself to do more research on BPD and the things I have been officially diagnosed with. I have been diagnosed with autism and CPTSD. I've already learnt so much about myself through this research. I'm learning that BPD stems from childhood trauma and can connect with CPTSD. Looking back on my childhood, I now see how most of it has been very traumatic and actually answers a lot of questions for me. There are other things I have realised are very prominent about me. And a little part of is ashamed but I'm also very ready to work on healing and seeking help when I know I need it.
Comments
Hi @tima, thank you for this follow up! I really appreciate your strength in reaching out and researching to know more about yourself and your mental health. Sometimes it can be not easy to acknowledge that we’re going through something and I’m glad to see that you’re taking these big steps towards healing.
It’s sad to hear that you find it hard to discuss your mental health with your mom because of the way she responds to your concerns. Our mental health is a sensitive topic and takes a lot of courage to speak about and I understand why you’re feeling this way.
I’m sorry that you had a terrible experience with your doctor. The comments about your weight were unnecessary and inappropriate, especially since it was unrelated to what you were seeking support for. @Riley-RO provided really good resources so it may be worth checking them out.
In any case, what you’ve gone through or what you’ve been diagnosed with isn’t something to be ashamed of. It’s not your fault and it’s something that is out of your control. Your courage to work on your healing and seek help is admirable and you should be proud of yourself.
I wish you all the best and let us know whenever you need support. You’re not alone in this 💙
Hi Tima, thanks for sharing with the community. I can hear how tough your experiences have been with finding support, but I think it’s awesome how you’re actively trying to seek support and learn more about your diagnoses.
I hope your mum does some more research so you can feel more understood and supported. If you’d like to, you might want to share with her some resources from our website?
ReachOut Parents: Supportive Parenting
I’m sorry to hear about the inappropriate comments from your doctor about your weight. I imagine that would be really hurtful and frustrating to hear repeatedly when you’re seeking support for unrelated experiences. It’s tough when we don’t feel like the professionals available to us in our area are able to offer the correct support. You do have the option of making a complaint about this GP if you’d like to. You can fill out an online complaint to the health care complaints commission or call their enquiry line for advice: Health Care Complaints Commission
I know it’s not always ideal, but have you considered finding a GP to connect with online you feel is supportive? https://www.hotdoc.com.au/
Again, I think it’s so awesome you’re wanting to learn more about your diagnoses to better understand yourself and how to support yourself! I thought you might be interested in some of these resources to help with your research journey:
Books:
- The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk
- What my bones know by Stephanie Foo
- Stronger than BPD by Debbie Corso
- The Stronger than BPD Journal: DBT activities to help women manage emotions and heal from BPD by Debbie Corso
- I hate you- don’t leave me by Hal Straus
- Different not Less by Chloe Hayden
- The Autistic Brain by Temple Grandin
CPTSD:
BPD:
Youtube channel: Psych2go (have some really great videos about all things mental health & psychology)
Video: 9 things about BPD you need to know
Video: positive traits of people with BPD
Video: 4 Autistic superpowers you should know
Thanks again for sharing Tima! All the best on your healing journey, you should be very proud of yourself
Riley-RO 😺
Hi @tima ⭐️
First off, I just want to say how proud I am of you for feeling ready to heal and receive support. I think it’s great you are researching all about BPD and CPTSD to understand yourself more. Learning about yourself and why you may be experiencing the things you are feeling is probably really helpful and validating, but might be a bit daunting or overwhelming too - which is perfectly okay. Your diagnoses do not define you, but at the same time they are an important part of who you are, and you should never be made to feel ashamed of this ❤️ You are amazing.
It sounds like you are feeling a bit unsupported or dismissed by your mum, which I am sorry to hear. The How to talk to your parents about wellbeing page here on ReachOut has some helpful advice if you’d like to check it out. Additionally, I am sorry to hear that the GP’s in your area aren’t very good. It is so important to advocate for yourself and/or try to find the perfect professional for you. You shouldn’t have to accept doctors making you upset.
I’m wondering if you have had a chance to use the Peerchat feature here on ReachOut? It is a one-on-one, text-based service where you and a ReachOut peer worker with lived experience can talk. You shouldn’t be expected to manage all these feelings alone.
sending love and hope to speak soon 🫶🏻
