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Moving out - Is it viable

Good day 

 

Friends 

 

I am turning 18 next year and I'm starting to think, is it a good idea to move out? I've been thinking about it for a good few years by now. I like the idea of moving out because I will finally have a sense of quiet and peace inside a home whilst sharing a space with like-minded people. I would like to imply that I don't think I am abused but my sisters are loud, destructive, and just not nice to be around. I have tried to make peace with them in the past - just know that. However, I am afraid of leaving behind the family because I'm always anxious that something could happen to mum or dad and I wasn't there. Especially since my mother has diabetes and my father isn't the man he was. Plus my sister is dangerous and I am afraid she will get more violent in the future. It's a guilty feeling. Plus, I am anxious concerning the idea of financially covering myself, I am a cashier right now but I don't know if that work itself will cover things like rent, University fees, fuel, food etc. 

 

Any help or kind words are encouraged 

 

Thank you

 

Good day 

 

 

SpaceBanana22
SpaceBanana22Posted 17-12-2021 10:09 PM

Comments

 
Squishy12456
Squishy12456Posted 20-01-2022 01:30 PM

Omg it is so tricky, thank you for being so honest! The rent market at the moment is so hard to get around but if you can find a place where you can afford it and still find the energy and money to keep yourself afloat then it is definitely something you should consider. It's so hard to leave family especially I'm sure if your parents aren't completely thriving. But I do want to push the idea of self care, if moving out will give you some more brain space and a bit more quiet then it is definitely something to look into. Try student accommodation, it is still quiet cheap and it is right next to which every uni you're at. Another option that I personally like is share houses (I'm a very social person though).

I hope this helps and good luck! :))

 
Iona-RO
Iona-ROPosted 14-01-2022 03:17 PM

Hi @SpaceBanana22😊

 

I just wanted to check in to see how you're doing. How are you feeling about potentially moving out now?

 

There's always pros and cons to big decisions like this, so it's totally normal to feel anxious about this kind of potential change. I moved out of my family home when I was 17 (I was dying to leave as soon as I could!) and although it came with the stress of figuring things out financially for myself, the independence it gave me was really important to me.

 

Have you tried writing up a bit of a budget to figure out whether you would be able to manage financially? Just add up all the expenses you think you'll have and take it away from your wages and see if you'll have enough. Sometimes it's helpful to have it down on paper/screen so you have a clearer idea of what you need to aim for 😊

 

We're always here if you'd like to chat about this a bit more ❤️

 
Maddy-RO
Maddy-ROPosted 18-12-2021 08:40 AM

Hi @SpaceBanana22, and thank you for your post.

 

I can hear (or read) that you're feeling really conflicted about moving out; you want to move out but you are worried about your parents' health and safety, finances, and feeling quite guilty. It sounds like a hard decision.

 

I'm concerned to hear that your sister is dangerous and violent. I know you said you aren't abused, but I just wanted to double-check on your safety. Are you safe at home and are there any younger siblings who could be in danger?

 

I know that not everybody has this option, but I'm wondering if you have any family members, like grandparents, that you could move in with for low rent...

 

Another idea is that you might also want to look into scholarships that the university offers... if you apply and receive one then that could help you financially. Also, some student accommodation can be quite cheap, so you might want to look into that as well.

 

I also wanted to say that I TOTALLY get the guilt thing. I am currently experiencing something similar as I plan to move out with my partner in the new year, and my grandma (basically) lives with me and I feel bad leaving her when she might need me. However, I figured that she still has my mum who can support her. Also, I also realized that I can't predict when she'll need me... she could be fine for another 5-10 years....so I figured that instead of hanging around IN CASE she needs me, I will move out and then WHEN she needs me, I could always move back home, or visit often to provide support.

 

I hope this helps!

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