The Pressure to be Happy, and Why its Actually ok to be Sad Sometimes

Hey! @Boxmore, so true! Being able to just sit with your emotions and accept them, whether that be sadness, anxiety, or anger is so important! Thanks for the reminder ❤️

Hello @Boxmore 

I would like to first say how thoughtful and true these comments are and much that you had say is so true.

I really resonate with the fact that you mention that we ought not to forget that sadness is indeed a valid emotion and learning to really embrace it, feels to me to be the right approach to it.

In short, I totally support your thoughts on the matter and I hope that because could do the same and learn to be aware of their own sadness and learn to recognise and embrace it as well, as it is truly what makes us human.

Hi @Boxmore 

Thank you so much for this reminder! I think in general, a lot of us have become really out of touch with emotions and expressing emotions. We feel a constant pressure to be 'perfect' in all aspects and think that involves controlling our reactions and in turn, our emotions. It's nice to be reminded that we feel a full spectrum of emotions and cannot be expected to act 'happy' and 'positive' throughout everything we go through. Sometimes we do just need to sit in the sadness for a while in order to process what we're dealing with and come out of it stronger on the other side 💙

Hi @Boxmore 

I couldn't agree more with what you have said in this post! I have seen so much content online that constantly emphasises that I just need to be happy, disregarding trauma, struggles, the current state of society, etc; it's straight-up toxic positivity. 

We humans are full of complex emotions and feelings, and it's very normal to feel sadness, pain, rejection and other "negative" emotions (these feelings are unpleasant but not bad or wrong). Acknowledging and validating our emotions/feelings is so important, and it helps with our overall well-being. Hiding them or covering them up with toxic positivity does more harm than good; speaking from personal experience as someone who used to contain everything.

If anyone is reading this and hasn't made a post here before or has not opened up about negative feelings/emotions, please know that here on ReachOut, this is a safe space for you to open up if you feel ready. And know that your feelings are so very valid, no matter what.

- Matcha_Toad 🐸🍵💚

Hey there@Boxmore 

I 100% agree with you, such an important topic that is not talked about enough. So thank you for bringing this up and raising a good point! 

Social media can be very misleading and fake in a way because of that reason, people post only what they want to show and 9 times out of 10 it will be a highlight moment which fair enough I do that too but in reality that photo or video might be someone who is going through something and obviously you can't see it. 

I feel like happiness doesn't need "tips" or advice because it's entirely subjective to the individual and what brings them happiness and that goes the same with feeling sadness, it doesn't need "tips" or advice on how to not be sad, we are human and a healthy human goes through all the emotions in the lifetime. 

This is why it's good to take breaks from social media which I am guilty of not doing 😅

But I love this because yesterday I was having a mental breakdown and I kept thinking to myself what is wrong with me! I was fine this whole time 😢😅 

Also there is this really great book I read a while back on self development called 'The Subtle Art of not Giving a Damn' by Mark Manson that teaches you not give a damn and I remember in one page the author was saying how when we feel for example angry we are conditioned to think that feeling is bad and therefore we get caught into this loop of getting more angrier because we are angry if that makes sense and that can be with most unpleasant but healthy emotions such as anxiety, stress, sadness, anger. 

So anytime you guys are feeling those unpleasant feelings remember do not get caught into this endless loop and just sit with the feelings until they pass (which they do). 

Sorry for the long pep talk but such a good topic! 

Take care and stay safe everyone! 💜🥰

Hi @Boxmore 

I completely agree with this. Negative and positive emotions co-exist and they should co-exist it is what makes you human. I often think that when I am sad and I have a cry it releases the endorphins, where if I was constantly bombarded with positive emotions it can take away from the release you get. I think recognising your negative emotions and validating them are the best things to do, instead of pushing them away and letting them manifest into something bigger. It can help you learn to process them better, positive and healthy coping mechanisms and lead to a more balanced life. 

Hi @Boxmore 

That is such a wonderful point that you have raised. There is so much pressure to live this happy, productive and ‘perfect’ life, but things are not always happy-go-lucky. We can have tough days, hard days, and unmotivated days - it’s just experiencing the full range of human emotion.

Depending on your level of sad and how it affects your life, seeking support maybe be helpful. 

But you are right, there is so much pressure on living a certain ideal and staying positive always.

Thank you for sharing your perspective, and you sound very insightful and in tune with your emotions!

Hi @Boxmore 

I love this!! You have explained this experience so well! I think it's important that we recognise our emotions and are able to live in them so that we can grow. While everyone wants to be happy, it's pretty unrealistic to think that we are all constantly in a state of happiness. Just like you said, sadness is completely natural and is part of what makes us human. If anything, it feels good to cry about things which are frustrating or upsetting and release those emotions. We don't always have to be happy and that's okay!!! 🥰💙

Hey @Boxmore 🩵

I couldn't agree more. The way you've articulated these thoughts is so amazing 👏

It is SO normal to experience the emotions you've mentioned. It is so unrealistic and quite frankly impossible to be happy all the time - and that's perfectly okay. It also normal to experience these emotions different to other people. Maybe I feel sadness for longer, and it take me a while to process. Maybe someone else feels anger a lot more deeply, and has a harder time dealing with it. 

Emotions are so subjective and always changing, so you are right - the pressure to be happy is a bad thing. While we can always try to live a more positive life, please allow yourself to feel these negative feelings!!! 

To anyone reading this, you are valid and you are loved! Thanks again boxmore for a such a brilliant post 😇

I completely understand where you're coming from @Boxmore and I agree! Sadness is a natural part of life and I do think society puts pressure on us to be happy but it is okay for us to experience a range of emotions. I think validating this emotion is crucial for our mental health and being able to heal. If we can accept and understand these feelings then we can work through them but also appreciate them. I believe embracing this can lead to genuine happiness and being able to identify and process negative emotions is incredibly valuable! We're only human and all emotions I believe are just as important as one another

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜