Feelings for work
Hey everyone, this post might be a bit disjointed but the main theme is that I'm having some difficulty coping with mistakes I am making at work and I how I feel about my job.
I started this new job around five months ago and I really loved it but now I'm starting to not enjoy it. I think it's a combination of things - I work in mental health but recently my own mental health hasn't been doing great so some of the things I deal with trigger me. I've also been more affected by the mistakes I have been making. Sometimes it's not even mistakes but more like things the people I work for don't agree with. And sometimes it's not even when I do it, but when that disagreement is towards something a colleague has done (that I also would have done). I just seem to take it really personally and it upsets me. I start to tear up and feel like my mind shuts down and I can't actually do my work for a few minutes. Then I get all the thoughts about how stupid and horrible of a person I am and then I think about how much I hate my job - even though I don't hate it I just don't enjoy it as much. Which sucks because this is my full-time job and I used to enjoy it. I don't want to be in a job that I feel like shit at 😕
I just want to know how other people cope with making mistakes at work, or feeling less enjoyment towards a job? Thanks for reading ❤️
Comments
Hey @fishyie
Haven't read the other comments so hopefully not doubling up!
Sorry to hear you're going through this. I have bipolar and started a new job a few months ago. It really increased my anxiety levels, especially when it came to tiny mistakes or what others might think of me. I wanted to do well. I didn't want anyone to think I'm an incompetent idiot. I'd get filled with panic and felt like I was about to freeze over tiny little situations, often that I was making up in my head.
Something my psychologist suggested I do is write on some little cards and keep them handy for when I'm feeling anxious like this. So I've got a little piece of paper I keep in my phone case, and it says things like this...
Thank you for trying to protect me brain. We are safe.
I am human. Perfectionism is unealistic. I am not defined by my mistakes, they don't change my worth.
I am learning!
This is literally imposter syndrome.
I am not a burden. My brain is lying.
I am being affected by cognitive distortions.
Thoughts and feelings are not facts.
And more 🙂
This is something that has helped my anxiety calm down a little. Hope this is a little reassuring 🙂
@Akinna you've said exactly how I feel! That freezing situation sucks to go through :/. I really love those suggestions so thank you so much - having them written down is a great way to have access to them when I need them. I like to put photo widgets on my phone home screen so that would be a good place for me!
@Dem--RO 👋 hey fellow psych grad! My workplace is actually pretty amazing - I've spoken a bit to my supervisor and she has been really understanding. I guess I just struggle with being vulnerable, and I worry that she would see this as "proof" I can't do my job as well as other people. I do see a therapist, who is awesome, for my depression. However making this post was a bit of an "oh shit" realization about how tough things have gotten, so I have also booked in an appointment with my work's EAP for some practical skills about handling these feelings about work. So overall I am feeling more positive about the future of my time at this workplace - although I have some serious thinking ahead about what I would like to do after.
Appreciate both your comments so much!!
Hey @fishyie,
So good to hear that you have put supports in place for yourself, and building up some practical skills sounds ideal. I wish you all the best with it, just reach out on the Forums if you need some more support or just need to vent 🙂
Awwww @Akinna I love this little note card idea! Sometimes it doesn't need to be something huge that gets us through, it can just be something small that keeps us grounded in the moment 💗
@fishyie Welcome aboard my fellow Psych grad! 😀 Given that you are working in mental health, has your workplace given you any access to supervision or support? Also, would you consider talking to your GP about getting a Mental Health Care Plan to help you manage some of this stress? Psychology is a broad field, and as you're in your first role, you might want to keep an eye out for opportunities to have informational interviews with others in the field, this would allow you to explore different areas and understand how people got where they are.
Hi @fishyie
I think it’s okay to have doubts over the mistakes you make whether it’s at your job, and that is normal. We all make mistakes, and we can’t always be perfect.
I too tend to have doubts over the mistakes I’ve made and it sucks because it’s the feeling that we want to show others that we would be professional on what we do and that we would never make those mistakes, but sometimes we can’t help but end up doing those mistakes since that is out of our control.
How I cope with making mistakes whether it’s at work or whatever, is that I would get myself to have this mindset of 'whatever, it’s just a mistake. We’re all human beings after all so all make mistakes.' kind of thing, and acknowledge that we can’t always show that kind of 'perfect' or professionalism image towards everyone that we work with. I understand how you’re feeling, but try not to be hard on yourself.
I think giving yourself some positive words throughout the day when you know you’re not feeling your best can help you ease that doubt of making mistakes - even stuff like 'it’s okay (my name), you’re doing great/well!' and 'hang in there' are great ways to tell yourself too!
You mentioned that you think about how much you hate your job and are not enjoying it as much. Since it’s your full time job, can you think about what can happen if you do happen to quit?
Like do you think it’ll be possible for you to easily get accepted or rejected from another role if you happen to apply for that new role or not - even after an employer has called you in for a job interview that you have to attend?
Sometimes it can take weeks to receive an outcome from any particular job we apply for and that’s what makes it hard.
Is there anything else, I guess career wise that you thought of wanting to do if you don’t want to continue doing the job you are doing?
hey @Blueberries , thanks for responding! It is good to hear that I'm not alone, because sometimes it feels like my mistakes are so overwhelming (to me) that I forget it is a pretty natural thing to do. I do like the idea of saying those positive words, saying them to myself sounds really sweet!
Feeling like I hate my job does come and go - I used to feel more eager to go into work but now I feel like just very neutral when I go in for the day. Or even apprehensive and nervous. I do really like the people I work with and the culture at my job. Plus the role for my level of experience (first year out of my undergrad degree) is really good, so I don't know if I could find something as good.
I have been thinking a bit more about what I'd like to do in the future though, career-wise, after this job. But it's hard to know what I would be interested in when all I've really been doing is studying in this field which is psychology (and I do enjoy the general field). I guess I might have limited myself to a certain aspect of it since it is such a broad idea. I do appreciate your question as it has encouraged me to start looking at some other areas I could work in that I might want to do instead of what I am currently doing ❤️! I think just knowing the options I have available will be helpful as I do feel a bit stuck on a path that I "have to" take.
Again thank you so much for your comment, and take care of yourself! 🐟
Hi @fishyie ,
I’m glad to hear that my advice has been helpful for you!
That’s true - sometimes we tend to have those days where we’re in the mood or feel eager to do something and there are those days that we don’t, which is totally normal for all of us.
And yeah, as long as you enjoy working with the people that you work with as well as the culture of your job, that’s all that matters - as we all deserve to have that kind of work environment and feel comfortable in the job that we work at. ❤️
You can always feel free to switch careers, and even taking a different course that can lead you to get into that particular field at anytime in your life, I’m sure it won’t be too late to do so! There’s so many opportunities out there that you can choose from. 😊
Also, I think knowing that there are other options you have available to choose from - is a great way to think about than having the mindset that you feel the need to “have to” take this path or that path.
You’re very welcome, I hope you take care of yourself too and enjoy the rest of your week! ❤️
