Hey @musicfan_xo, I am really sorry to hear about everything you are going through. It sounds like you have a lot going on, in all different areas of your life, so I can see why you are feeling quite upset, alone and tired of the way that things are. I can also hear that you feel judgemental towards yourself. I don't know if it helps to know this but sometimes all we can do is focus on getting through the day. It sucks to be in survival mode, especially because you feel like you are missing out on a normal life.. but sometimes making getting out of bed or having a shower is your biggest achievement for the day and that is okay too ❤️ if it makes even a small difference, from what I know about you on the forums, you sound selfless, strong and empathetic. Personal qualities matter too!
You mentioned that your appointments with your GP and psychiatrist are in a few weeks. Is it possible for you to have more regular appointments when you are struggling?