Hi @Akinna ,
You're absolutely right it is very very hard. We are often told this idea that psychology and medicine are these definite things that can cure us right away. But the reality, is that it is often trial and error. Multiple failures before one success. I often think the hardest part of the process, is the constant gain and loss of hope. Feeling like this time, things will be fixed.
However, I feel like you know that, like you said, "my perspective is slowly changing as i realise i had the wrong diagnosis and wrong meds." The process is very gradual, but it is moving forward.
I won't get into specifics, however SH is an addictive process. You're right. Any action that provides us with a quick release, is easily formed into a desirable and repeatable process. The same as drugs, alcohol, food, love and even over-exercising. Alot of changing the process with SH can be finding alternatives that may not provide you with the exact process you want, but can provide you with a similar safer release.
These things can be such things as, taking a really cold shower, placing your hands in an ice bath, snapping your wrist with an elastic band, having a big cry (if this works for you) or doing vigorous cardio exercises. These processes activate similar areas in our brain which can imitate SH and thus provide you with a release within a safe manner.
