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@Akinna it's super awesome to hear your appointment was encouraging and you were able to make such a movement in that session. It's true that living with depression for years is exhausting, and it's easy sometimes to blame ourselves for it. But you're absolutely right - it's not your fault the chemicals in your brain are the way they are. And it sounds like you have worked really hard to make decisions to focus on yourself and be proactive in talking about your mental health and your treatment. Of course you are proud!