Hey @lemurien ,
It sounds like it’s been tough at your placement lately, I’m sorry to hear that.
I relate a lot to what you are saying, I am also a sensitive person, I used to struggle a lot at work with being assertive or taking on any sort of feedback. My first go to reactions would be to get defensive or get hurt. I even got feedback at one of my first jobs that I couldn’t take any sort of criticism without either breaking down or putting up a wall. It still is something I need to be aware of to this day. So, I know what you are going though.
I think part of what helped me is time and experience. As you go though things dozens of times over, it ceases to be as nerve-wracking. Part was accepting that it is okay to get anxious, nervous or even hurt at times. And part was actively practicing assertive communication both in work and outside of work.
When I read your post (and please correct me if I’m wrong) I get the sense that you view some of the traits within yourself as not ideal and your reactions as bad. This could be adding to the pressure of the position that you are in at the moment. It’s okay to be a gentle person and have assertiveness be something you need to work on. It is absolutely something that can be practiced, and the same can be applied with receiving feedback. If you search “Assertive communication style” online you will find a lot of resources on it.
Trust me when I say that being gentle and being assertive can go hand in hand.
I think you are doing a great job and have recognised some areas which you are struggling with, this shows immense insight and strength within yourself. Don’t give up! 😀
