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Hello @Iona-RO , thanks so much for your response. 


Thank you for acknowledging that. It took a lot of bravery to finally 'expose' the negatives of the relationship to not just myself but my family as well. 


The event was an art exhibition which my grandmother's work featured in. I was there with a few family members, and invited my friends (we were going out afterwards). He messaged to say he was on his way (to my surprise) so I was 'forced' in a sense to give him the exact location. 

Like I said, it was incredibly awkward. I had to leave my friends to show him the artwork (in an effort to be polite), and then talk to him privately to explain I had organised a night with my friends only. 


That experience forced me to reflect on the dynamics of our relationship. It made me question how much he trusts me and whether he respects boundaries between him and my friends/family. 

I discussed it with him later, and he improved for a while, but over the past few months things have returned to how they were previously. 


I must have my location shared with him (from my phone) at all times. He explained that it was important because if something bad happened, he'd be able to find me - it was a safety measure. 

(My father has made me share my location with him in the past for this exact reason so I trusted my boyfriend when he said this). 

However, it became apparent that this need to know where I am stemmed from a lack of trust. And although I've insisted to tell him where I'm going, somehow me wanting to stop sharing my location reinforces his trust issues (I must be hiding something). 


For a while he went to therapy (after my failed attempt to break up with him) in an effort to prove he can change. But again, I'm slowly being controlled more and more. 


Other than everything listed, I still love him. We are so close and I'd hate to lose him. If i were to take my own (and everybody else's) advice, I'd end it. I just don't know how.

I haven't yet had a discussion with him - Not sure how to bring these issues up for the third(?) time now without appearing guilty of something. 


I'd really appreciate some tips/suggestions on setting boundaries (firmly). 



Thank you so much 

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