Hi @Squishy12456 , I want to start by saying thank you for sharing this post with us. It sounds incredibly frightening and confusing for you to have had these nightmares from such an early age, and to learn that they were connected to your family's traumatic past. As you said, generational trauma is more than just an idea, it has tangible consequences for the people who live it, and it sounds as though that has been your experience. I'm sorry that you've had to go through that.
You mentioned that when you were younger, you weren't necessarily that close to your grandparents, but that this trauma was passed onto you nonetheless. Have you had the opportunity to talk to anyone in your family since then about your nightmares to see if they have had a similar experience or can relate to what you're going through?
If you think it would be helpful, here's a link to the Healing Foundation - they have some great resources on intergenerational trauma that might be a useful starting point for processing all this.
Finally, you also mentioned feeling concerned for your kids and grandkids and what they might experience in their dreams if this trauma keeps being passed on. While I can't be sure what the future will look like for your family, @Squishy12456, I do feel confident that your openness and willingness to work through your trauma and bring it out into the light will offer them some hope. Your optimism offers a sense of hope that the present and the future don't have to be defined by the pain of the past, and I think that's something that is very powerful. Thinking of you @Squishy12456 and everything you are going through and growing through ❤️
P.S. I've moved your post to the Heavy Feels section so that other people that might be going through something similar can find your post. I also added some trigger warnings and edited a few lines to make sure that your post is safe for the community to read, even when it's talking about heavy stuff. You're doing a great job, but if you ever need some guidance on how to talk about trauma safely, take a look at our community guidelines for support.
