Hey@Courtney-RO and@Iona-RO
Thank you for your replies, I really appreciate them.
I'm alright today. Not quite as flat as I have been lately.
I was studying graphic design at uni. I was planning on freelancing but now I think I'm going to need something a bit steadier. I've been applying for jobs and haven't gotten any interviews yet, but otherwise I'm not working towards anything specific. I'm also starting to wonder if I went into the right field. Part of me wants to go back to uni or work with horses. It has been feeling very overwhelming. I really have no idea where I want to go from here.
I'm also moving out next month which I'm finding very stressful. Where I live at the moment is a bit isolated, so I'm moving to be closer to my friends (I only got to see them in person twice last year). I think it's the best thing for me to do because the loneliness really gets to me, but I'm still a little hesitant. I've lived out of home twice before and both times ended up moving back. It also means I'll have to leave my horse at home - I know he'll be looked after really well but I'll miss him and I'm little worried he'll forget about me.
Also the job hunt has been quite stressful and then my car broke down the other day.
Usually I speak to my mum about things like this, and I did talk to her about how I haven’t been enjoying much though I don't think she really knew what to say. Still, it helped me a lot just to know that she cares.
In the past when I was seeing a therapist I found it was easier to deal with the actively negative emotions than the lack of enjoyment - like I dealt with the worst of it but had a lingering dullness. I found mindfulness helpful, not so much meditating because I tend to fall asleep, but listening to birds or simple tasks that kept my hands busy without having to think too much. I found jogging helpful as well, but the weather has been so wet so I haven't been able to do that for ages. I did manage to go out for a walk this morning though (I do still get exercise just from my day to day activities). Also I used to find listening to music helped but it hasn't had the same effect recently.
I used to keep a gratitude journal, too. I should start doing that again.
And I do sew my own clothes sometimes. That way I get to make things that are my style. Mostly I start something and then move onto the next thing before I've finished the first. I knit a bit too, and learnt to crochet recently.
