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Trent2354
Super frequent scribe

Hi @Iona-RO!
That's comforting to hear that the time it's taking me isn't unusual. I do feel very safe here so I had no problem sharing the details of what I did - but what's more when she finished work I went over and told her exactly what I did and how I felt about it. She is immensly understanding and thanked me for being honest. It's moments like this where it really shines to me how amazing of a person she isn despite what happened. 

We speak somewhat reguarly about how we're going with everything, she knows that I'm still struggling with trust but I think she feels a little bit stuck in how she can help, and sometimes there's not alot she can do but listen and reassure, which is often all I need.

I don't have her password, but her tablet is automatically logged in. To be honest though I think I'd prefer that she doesn't change it or "lock" me out of it because then how am I to prove to myself or her that I am trustworthy and can resist looking? I want to be given the opportunity to do wrong, and instead do right.

When we had the recent discussion about the "crutches" and "checks" that I have been relying on, I actually suggested that we can remove iFinder, she pointed out to me that we're both going away seperately with friends over easter and it might be best to wait till after as it might pose some anxiety being apart for that time, so that's our plan. I really appreciated her being considerate in that moment, even after I just told her I had checked her socials 😱

I really related to what you've replied to me with today, so thank you!

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