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hey @Clementine75 !

kudos to you for sharing your thoughts with us! it can feel very daunting trying to understand your sexuality, especially asexuality and similar ones since so much of society is very relationship-based and driven. thankfully we've got the internet and like @Iona-RO said, Reachout has a great ace community! it might be helpful for you to hear about other's experiences and see if you can relate.

recently i heard of the term demisexual, which is experiencing attraction on when you've got an emotional bond with someone. i don't get crushes frequently either and only when i've known the person for a while so this term does speak to me. but i'm still not sure if i relate enough to call myself it, and that's ok! you don't need to put a label on your sexuality, or it might change over time; you just have to be you 😊