hmm, I have HEAPS of thoughts on this, hopefully some of them might be helpful!
the first thing is, I find it unfair that no one ever tells straight people "but how do you know you're really straight, what if you just haven't met the right guy/girl yet?" It's like, they get to just assume who they are, so how come we have to question and analyse ourselves and worry about being 100% certain, before we can embrace our identity? I realised it's quite a double standard, which helped me let go of the pressure to find certainty.
For me, personally, I also realised I needed to embrace uncertainty because uncertainty is actually a part of my identity. I mean, I'm on the ace and aro spectrums, bi, and non-binary; all of my identities are about not being strictly one thing or the other thing. So I'm pretty passionate that everything is on a spectrum and people shouldn't be pressured to define themselves in strict categories and then never ever change their minds. sexuality and gender are so personal, fluid and hard to define! That's because we're a part of nature, and nature doesn't follow rules, it just blooms 🌻
Annnnd the third thing that helps me is knowing that no matter what my labels are, the queer community is a place where I belong. And if you don't feel you are cis/straight, and you want to be part of it, then you belong too! So for me, I figure, "well, no matter what I am, I know I found my people!"
I hope that helps! But, it's such a personal journey, so it's ok if what helped me doesn't necessarily work for you. How are you feeling about all of this right now?
