Hi @Lee101,
Thank you so much for sharing your experience! Regarding advice on how to confirm your gender, I just responded to this post which brings up some similar concerns, and you may find that thread helpful.
It's great to hear that you are beginning to come to terms with your gender identity as trans-non-binary. Regarding recognising both your masculinity and femininity, could you please explain a bit more about what you mean by this? Every person has both a masculine and and feminine side, and it's actually really important to embrace both, so the fact that you recognise both within yourself is also great!
You mentioned that you feel selfish to make your parents go through this confusing process. I can completely understand and empathise with your feelings regarding this, as I felt a similar way when coming out to my family. However, prioritising your own happiness & personal growth is not selfish, and is very important, and perhaps this might be something you could discuss with your parents when you are comfortable? At the end of the day, most parents want their children to feel safe. happy and comfortable within themselves, and I'm sure your parents would feel the same way. From my experience, younger siblings and young children are actually often some of the most understanding, so I'm sure your siblings would understand as well. I was wondering whether you have told anyone about your experiences, or whether you feel that you have a safe, supportive network that you can rely on, whether this be friends, family, a queer group at school or university, a mental health professional, or something/someone else?
You also mentioned that you are considering coming out to your family. I want to mention that please do not feel pressured to come out if you do not feel safe or ready. If you do feel safe/comfortable coming out, different people find different methods of coming out easier than others. Personally, I have always found direct confrontation difficult, so have preferred methods such as writing a letter, or having a discussion while the other person is driving (as it feels less confrontational). What are some methods of coming out that you think you would find easier? We can always work on something from there?
Thank you again for sharing your experience, and I wish you the very best with your journey. 😊
