It sounds like it can be really helpful having your mum there for certain appointments @Akinna but I can definitely understand that having her there would make it harder for you to open up. It can be so hard to open up when we know how much our family care about us because we don't ever want to worry them with some of the things that we think about or feel.
"Nothing changes if nothing changes" That's a really great way to think about it. If we don't change anything, how can we expect a different result? In saying that, it is easier said than done, so I also think its important to give yourself credit for trying, even when things don't work out 😊
You mentioned that she checked in with you at the end of your session but that you hate the habit of always saying you're okay when you're not. So I am just wondering what stops you from telling her how you are really feeling? Do you think its a conscious decision not to bring it up?
I also want to say that recognising that you're struggling with acceptance and validation is HUGE and I think you should be super proud of yourself for talking it through with her (and us!). It sounds like she has been really helpful and even has some great strategies for you to try. It can be really hard to accept your feelings after telling yourself that it wasn't that bad or that you could have made it up, for so long. But that just means that it will be even more special when you are able to recognise and accept them.
I love your idea about adding Bipolar into casual conversation! I think that's such a great goal to set yourself and I feel that including your family will hopefully makes things a little easier on you. You are doing such a great job @Akinna I hope you are just as proud of yourself as we are of you 💜
And thank you for letting us know that you're safe too!
