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Hey @lemurien 
Everything you've written is valid and completely understandable. I remember how daunting it was when I had to face my diagnoses and the work that would have to go into my recovery. The fact that you linked up with support, tells me how incredibly resilient you are! You took the first and hardest step in my humble opinion. You did that! As people have already said, your journey will be unique and that alone can be overwhelming. Take it at your pace, Just one foot in front of the other. I'm a quote person so I would like to share 2 with you from a book called Stop Surviving Start Fighting (highly recommend). "You are stronger than your mind lets you believe", I've seen your interactions with the community and I can say without a doubt this quote rings true to you. All that support you've offered us, now give back to yourself because you deserve it 🙂
Also, "it takes a community of people to work together to help someone learn to fight". Let us be that community for you. We are here for you and your journey ahead 💜