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Things sound tough for you at the moment @Cinnamon_Buffalo and I'm really sorry to hear that. It's really difficult when you are feeling this way and words fail us but you have our full support regardless. Did you feel up to sharing about what's been happening for you? If you need to chat with someone, especially a trained counsellor you can also try Beyond Blue 

Beyond Blue Support Service is available 24/7 for brief counselling.