Open if you're feeling guilty/bad/self loathing
Hello you wonderful human being (although I know you definitely feel the polar opposite of wonderful right now),
I’ve had the privilege of learning a new skill/taking it on and seeing progress of this happening:
Self compassion and uhhh not being scared of mistakes
I found that the most common thoughts behind this feeling are:
- Why didn’t I ____
- I should have ____
- I shouldn’t have ____
- It was so wrong of me to _____, I’m _____
- I wish I would have just _____
Since we get about 6000+ thoughts a day, there’s obviously so much more variety in these thoughts.
Look, we respond to things in so many different ways because of our: personality, coping skills, learnt/ innate developed cognitive functions, overall perception of life, thought patterns, learnt behaviour, attachment styles, ethnic background, family life, physical environment we grew up in etc.
So, here are some things you need to hear:
We are human
We make many decisions in our lives - there are some people, maybe including yourself, expecting you to be perfect. No human is perfect, we all have faults.
What you label yourself is what you are
What you call yourself is what you are. I feel that the brain is really good at defaulting to a negative and then all of a sudden seeing all your faults. You're a good person, list some reasons why at least one thing. Be kind, give more than you take, do no harm to yourself and others.
Dissect any anxious thoughts
Answer these questions
Ideally on a piece of paper
1. What happened objectively
2. What did I make it mean?
3. How would I comfort a friend or loved one if they were in this situation?
4. How is this the best thing that's happened to me?
Neuroplasticity - what can you do next time?
What can you do next time to prevent this? Focus on that only. Put it in your notes or write it down. Make goals to maybe practice something like meditation everyday so you can use it when you need it.
Talk to someone
Talk to someone about it you trust, get a different perspective, talk to a counsellor (Kidshelpline, they're free. Or anything similar)
Now go do some self care
- play a game
- take a bath
- draw/do a hobby
- be mindful
Overtime, the more you practice, it'll become like muscle memory for you much like it was for me today.
Show yourself the love you'd show to someone you love ❤️