Hey there @Voracious_Rooster
I'm sorry to hear you're going through this. I get you. I've experienced a lot of similar things.
Pretty good life, no obvious trauma, but trash mental health. Strong depressive thoughts including similar existential thoughts. I had no idea what was wrong. I wondered if I was making it all up. I 'shut down' and didn't tell anyone until it was almost too late.
Fast forward a few years until July last year... high school, depression diagnosis, psychologist, antidepressants, spiralling... and I get diagnosed with bipolar disorder. My bipolar diagnosis proves this is not my fault. Genetics and brain chemistry are involved. So even though I have a 'pretty good life,' there are other reasons for my mental health struggles, invisible ones.
I've never experienced obvious trauma that you automatically think of. But I'm slowly figuring out now how much 'tiny' events and situations have impacted me over my life, ones that I thought 'weren't that bad.'
Another way of looking at it, there are countless celebrities who would have an 'extremely privliged life' and still struggle with their mental health.
Just because you can't see a logical cause for your mental health struggles, doesn't mean your mental health struggles aren't real and valid. Others 'having it worse' doesn't change the fact that you are struggling right now. It doesn't change the fact that you deserve help, nothing changes that.
