Hey @redroses it's clear that this person meant so much to you, and that this whole situation has left you very hurt and confused. The fact that you were willing to put so much effort into repairing the relationship tells me that you are an incredibly caring and empathetic person. It saddens me deeply to know that those qualities don't seem to be valued by this person.
Sometimes there can be clashes in relationships when both people are struggling with their mental health. It sounds like this person has some deep pain and trauma in her past, and unfortunately in some ways has taken it out on you. This isn't a reflection of you, or your worth. Perhaps one day things will be calmer, and you two can reconnect. For right now, some distance and time apart might be healthy for you both.
Also, I just wanted to share that I think the roleplaying stuff is really cool! I would totally love that - so have hope that there are other people out there who could do the same with you; play games, roleplay, and talk about all the stuff you have in common.
Do you have someone you can talk to about your suicidal thoughts, especially if they become overwhelming? You could always get in touch with Kid's Helpline if it becomes too intense.
