Hi @shruddles - firstly I want to say that you're so strong for expressing the way you're feeling at the moment since sometimes it can be really hard to put into words how much something hurts. I also wanted to say that you are not alone.
I felt really drawn to your post because it's something I've struggled with so much too. I've fallen into that cycle before where I'd just compare myself to others and wonder why I can't be more like everyone else, why it's so hard for me to find meaningful and lasting connections with others. It's such a terrible feeling to constantly feel like an outsider no matter where you go.
I hear you've mentioned that you avoid clicking on other people's stories in case it will further strengthen those feelings of loneliness, and I'm wondering if you've considered removing those accounts whose content tends to leave you feeling lonelier? In my experience it's been really helpful to remove any accounts that would leave me feeling down or compare myself to.
I understand that feeling of knowing that people tend to only show their highlight reel, but still putting myself down regardless. It's something I've worked on for a long time and have gotten better at with time.
It sounds like you've truly tried to put youself out there but it hasn't resulted in any meanginful connections and it's been really impacting you lately. It's understandable that feeling this extreme loneliness for so long would lead you to feeling hopeless. When we feel lonely and disconnected for so long it can really impact our self-worth and we're left wondering what is wrong with who we are.
But I just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone in any way. There are people out there who struggle with this too and know just how heart breaking it is to feel this way for so long. I think it's also so important to let these feelings out and reach out when it gets too much. I feel like it can help to know that you're not the only one going through something so intense. I'm here cheering you on, you are so strong. You are strong for continuing to try despite how hopeless things feel. You deserve to feel connected, you deserve to feel like you belong. You are so deserving, no matter how you feel. I hope you never lose sight of that. 😊
