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I’ve come so far

So I’m in my mid 20’s 

I’ve had my share of trauma 

Ive overcome homelessness as a teenager 

I’ve gotten therapy and I take medication 

I have come so far 

I have held a full time job for 3 years 

I’m well respected in my role and am looked up to by my peers 

but it’s gotten too much 

and I feel like I’ve failed 

I’ve had to change my role to a casual position because I’m not coping

i know this is the right thing to do to prioritise my mental health 

but I can’t explain how I feel other than hopeless, and that doesn’t feel close enough at all a word to describe it. 

I’ve overcome so many worse things, why now, why this? Why is it all creeping back in? I’ve worked so hard to get better - and I was, what happened to put me back in this hole? 


I want to be happy, I have so many positive things in my life, I just feel perpetually overwhelmed, I’m so sensitive and it’s debilitating. 

I know it’s just the C-PTSD, I don’t think there is anything else to do to help me anymore though? Is this just my life now? Sacrificing my aspirations for a life comfortable enough that I don’t feel so hopeless all the time? Am I ok with that? Can I feel content with the bare minimum? Do I make my life easier so I can cope 100% of the time, or do I take the risk and commit when I’m mentally well only to disappoint everyone and myself by failing to cut it when I’m not? 

I can’t win either way


I have so many dreams, so many wants to make this world a better place, even if it’s just a little, I don’t want anything fancy, just my own little piece of joy. And I have that where I am if I let go of anything more. 

But I don’t know if I can do that? 


Thank you if you’ve read this 

I’m just really tired of trying and I needed to get this out. 

I don’t know if there is any more help to receive, so no stress if you can’t recommend anything I just appreciate your time. 

Thank you

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