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Hey @ruby_t 

That's really difficult. It can feel really unfair to have to struggle to exsit. It may be helpful to throw out the concept of "normality/the way things should be done." If taking a shower is too much, you can always take a shower sitting down. If that's too much, use baby wipes. Brushing your teeth for 30 seconds is better than not. Opening your window isn't as benefical as going outside but it's still something. If you have to bribe yourself with a reward to get stuff done, do it. My parents consistently brided me with food to get me to do things when I was struggling and it worked 😂. These things may not make you feel like much now but in time you'll look around and see how far you've come. I don't know if it ever gets 100% fixed but it will definately get easier. 

Please remeber that you have not failed in any way, shape, or form. Sometimes our best may not look like much from an outside perspective but it's still more than enough. You've got this!