Hello mates. I am back on here but not exactly for good reasons.
I’ve been struggling a lot with my identity lately… again. I feel like this will be constant worry that won’t ever go away.
Now that I’ve graduated from school and am in uni I thought I could be more independent and have the freedom to explore myself. But it’s not turning out that way.
The uni itself is great allowing for preferred names and pronouns but it’s just the people or students there. I am constantly worried ‘ ‘who I am and who I want to be be can not connect’ (quoting NF) as I am presenting as Lee, non-binary person, but my facial features look so feminine and my voice is so high so how can I expect them to look at me as male.
but it’s not just that.
My best and only friend who I have talked about on these forums, has moved to Melbourne while I’m in QLD so they are out living their life and I feel so alone (even though we still chat online).
I have been experimenting with growing out my body hair and facial hair and my mother is very against it, saying that ‘you are a woman and you must shave or you’ll look feral.’
It’s hard to even find out who or what I am if I can’t even experiment with it.
I am seriously considering (wanting) to take T but I know I need to have that convo with my family and I don’t know how to do that as I still haven’t told them of my troubles with my identity. How can I when I think my parents will think of me only as a woman or being a ‘product of media in this society’?
What I am asking is ‘Does anyone have any ideas or advice on I guess coming out or ways to make me feel more me?’ In a way that won’t stress me even more with my University work.
Cheers, Lee
