Hi there @Eggplant_Falcon ,
Believe it or not, I somehow feel you have just practiced what you can possibly say to your girlfriend.
Everything you have just posted makes it so clear what is current in your conversations and what you'd like future conversations to look like.
Here a tip sheet on 6 steps to tackle a difficult conversation. I pretty much think you have nailed it.
It's important for her to genuinely realise you love her dearly and do not want to break up. That each time she mentions breaking up, it is upsetting for you. Moving forward, you'd like to be able to be transparent and put everything out on the table about what has happened and how both are feeling.
In relation to your example, you can even let her know that you were seeking comfort in the first place but the outcome didn't quite hit the mark.
I acknowledge that it can be draining to have to go around and keep coming back to the same thing in that your GF blames herself. Perhaps this is her way of coping? Some people cope by putting the blame on everyone else, while in this case, the coping mechanism is putting the blame on self. These are things that you can definitely talk through with kindness, patience and compassion.
I'm interested to hear your thoughts.
