Hey there @Turquoise_Hamster I'm really sorry to hear that you're having such a rough one today. You're definitely not alone in your experience, sometimes the mind really can get away from us. I can hear that you're enduring a lot of fear and racing thoughts, particularly about things that could go wrong for you. Anxiety is a tricky beast, however at the end of the day it has a function - it wants to protect you from potentially going through something awful. It gets complicated when it then starts to become over-active and tries to run through every possible awful scenario. Our anxiety can sometimes get caught up in "But what if it all goes wrong?" and we forget that we can also ask ourselves "But what if it actually goes right?"
Sometimes it can help to remind ourselves that we cannot possibly know the future, and to try to focus only on those things which we can control. Sounds like you have been really trying to sit with these feelings and allow them space, which is good - feelings are only visitors, and we never stay in them forever. But if that hasn't been working, focusing on what you can do to change your current situation can help, starting with the basics - have you had enough water, food, sleep, and exercise? Those things make more of a difference than we sometimes realise.
Next step is to look at whether there's anything you can change right now - having a shower, switch to a different room, put on some music, have a cup of tea, journal your thoughts, do some stretches or meditation, etc. - and try to bring your focus and attention into the present moment. Distraction is also extremely helpful sometimes, like chucking on a movie or tv show, playing a video game, calling a friend, or doing something creative. Sometimes if we 'try to relax', the effort and frustration of trying can become stressful in itself. A few deep breaths and switching focus can be really helpful.
You could check out our little guide for coping with the hard stuff, or have a read about putting self-compassion into practice, if you want some more ideas about what you can do to help you through today. You're also welcome to use this space to vent/talk through some of the thoughts or situations that you are finding yourself catastrophising. I'm here to listen 💚