I have never posted here before so I hope this goes okay. Sorry if it doesn't.
Hi everyone, I will be talking about my experiences with school in relation to stress, anxiety, depression and, to some extent, self harm thoughts. I have no intention of harming myself in anyway, but I do get similar thoughts. I hope this conversation can help other people as well.
I have really been struggling with school at the moment. I am in year 12 and my trial exams are in less than two weeks. This is, understandably, a very stressful time for many people. However, this stress is greatly impacting my life and wellbeing.
I am a very studious and academic person. I have always tried very hard in my studies and I have done very well. Now that I am doing my HSC (secondary school certificate for NSW), I am putting more pressure on myself to do well. I've been studying a lot. But all the time I feel anxious, stressed, sad and depressed. I feel like I am incapable and worthless. I struggle to fall asleep because of crying and these thoughts and feelings. Everyday I wake up sad, anxious and nervous. Doing anything now is difficult.
When studying yesterday, I had an autistic meltdown. After a meltdown, it is hard to recover. I have similar panic attacks and intense negative feelings all the time. I am not sure what to do.
I have seen many psychologists in the past, but I every time I spoke with them I would cry and feel worse than before. I know I need some help, but I don't know who to ask. I can't tell my parents because they get frustrated at me and say I am not trying hard enough. I don't trust any other family members or friends for help. If I tell any teacher at school they send me home and tell my parents.
I'm not sure what to do. Sorry if that rant was too long. I am happy to talk about similar experiences from other people.
