Hi @Red_Flamingo, sorry to hear you're not doing well. I too have been struggling with depressive thoughts and grief from losing grandparents lately so I'll try and give you some advice from my experience.
My grandfather who passed away a week ago was also in aged care and had been battling aging bones and pneumonia for as long as I can remember. Not to mention his wife has had dementia for 5 ish years now. Seeing them in pain and confusion is SO heartbreaking so I completely understand how you're feeling about your grandmother. Maybe contact the aged care and voice your concerns about the broken arm?
Opening up is haaaaaard but I've noticed that the more you do it to people who are willing to listen, the easier it becomes and you slowly learn it's ok to talk about your feelings. I won't deny it is NOT an automatic thing (especially with a new psychologist) so take your time. Maybe write down what you wanna say/prep some things to say for potential ways they might react (works for me but you do you :).
Keep bikeriding when you can, little hobbies like that can make ALL the difference to your stress levels (even if it's not automatic).
Not gonna lie, grief is a powerful, unpredictable force that can rack you to your knees. When my grandparents died I was in shock/numb but a few days later I just broke down at school. But that's just my experience, grief is a very personal experience that I'm still navigating. You might have a completely different experience but know however you feel if your grandmother did hypothetically die is VALID and that looking after yourself (even now with your current situation) is more important than ever.
sending you much love through this difficult time. From Acid.
