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guys this post is kinda depressing i just realised also i'm kinda just ranting here
I've been feeling really down and overwhelmed by everything, especially right as I'm writing this post. I don't know if anyone's gonna read this but yeah.
I would much prefer to rant privately to a close friend who I'd be comfortable sharing with, but in reality, I don't have any. Sure, I have friends, but only a few, and they're also just... friends. Is there something wrong with me? Why do I not have any friends who I can even open up to? There's the school counsellor, but it's not like they're always free to talk; they're just another stranger. My family? Well, my mum's still in China on holiday, my dad's kinda just there, barely. My brother's also just another person existing.
I also have so much school work to catch up on, as I missed a week of school for holidays, and I have assessments coming up in the next few weeks that I am completely not prepared for. I also got sick these past two days and have been completely unable to be productive; just feeling so uncomfortable and tired. I feel like I've been wasting so much time, and I know I have to start being productive tomorrow, or I'm screwed. Yet, it's 12:40 A.M. and I need to wake up at 7 A.M. for school.
I feel like I have so much to do, just sorting myself out physically, socially, and emotionally. I've tried to do one of those brainstorm maps where you write everything that's worrying you down, and cross out the ones you cant control and focus on the ones you can, but it just made me feel even more overwhelmed seeing how much was on the list. Most of it is controllable, but I'm just so tired. I feel almost motivated to do it, but I just can't bring myself to. Every small task feels like a whole mountain to climb, with a 98% chance of falling down.
My family's financial issue is also going downhill. We just had to borrow $23,000 to pay off a fee. I have a job, but I am still a student and I'm 14.
Please give me some advice on how to just, focus on school again. I want to live a nice, organised life.
please