Hey @WorkingOnIt110 it's nice to see you back on the forums 🙂
I'm really sorry to hear about what's happened with this friend, it sounds like it's brought up a lot of old wounds for you. It's incredibly hurtful to lose this friendship when you didn't have any say in what happened. I can imagine that with the abandonment you've felt in the past, him promising to be in your life and then not talking to you would make things extra difficult. It sounds like lots of people have also been blindsided by him being engaged, which would only add more confusion to what is already a tough situation to go through.
I can see that you're feeling a lot of self-doubt about yourself from him having ended this friendship so quickly. I wanted to remind you to be kind to yourself, as it sounds like you weren't aware of any issues with the friendship until he told you that he and his gf had these conversations. It also sounds like you've done your best to be a close friend with him and that shows a lot of loyalty and care on your part. At the same time, he has caused a lot of confusion and hurt with his secrecy around the engagement. Have you been able to talk to any of your mutual friends about this and how it's made you all feel? Has anyone considered approaching him about this issue?
I also hear that your friends want you to move on and get over it. I wanted to say that everyone has their own timeframe to grieve, and the loss of a close friendship can take time, especially when you weren't expecting it. I was wondering if you'd ever been in a situation in the past where your feelings of abandonment have come up, and how you looked after yourself? We have an article here on self-care after a friendship ends, which includes some ideas like taking a step back to reflect on the good and bad in your friendship, and to lean on your mates to help distract you in the meantime. Do any of these ideas stand out to you?
