Hey @lemurien
Thank you for keeping us updated. As I have read through your words from Oct, the first thing I want to say is you are such a wonderful person to do everything possible to help your friend like that.
As a person who has been through similar situations, I totally see how hard you're trying to help your friend and I can also see the pain of your effort being dismissed. Although it's hard for a person to fully understand what others are going through, I think that no pain and experience can be compared to each other and the term "wasn't as bad" was definitely not appropriate to describe your problem. Your pain is valid, your emotions and experience are all valid.
Your story also reminds me of my friend's words when I tried to reach out to him: "You can try your best to reach out and offer help, but whether I decide you receive it or not is still my decision." Now thinking back of it, although it hurts, but I think he was not entirely wrong. Sometimes not being able to help a friend is frustrating, desperate even. That's why in a journey of supporting someone, sometimes it is best to consider taking a step back and looking after your own mental health, as everyone in this thread has mentioned and I guess you know it too.
From my own experience, when situations like this happened to me and the friend I mentioned above, I decided to stop doing anything further than listening. I simply let him talk and listen to his pain over and over again, even though sometimes it doesn't feel like I'm not doing enough. But it was the best I could do, for both him and my mental health.
I guess it could be uncomfortable not being able to do anything further, but from my perspective, keeping yourself safe is one of the most important aspects to consider while supporting a person. That doesn't mean you have to stop if you don't feel like it, it's just that sometimes doing less might be a bit better. Healing takes time, and you are doing an excellent job on keeping your friend company.
Once again, thank you for reaching out and you are a wonderful friend. I hope this helps. 
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