Hi @Samm
It takes a lot of strength to be able to admit you are struggling so kudos on that 👏
I understand how hard it can be when you are having these feelings and how hard it is to get out of a rut and seek help. Have you tried seeing a therapist? I understand you don't have a job but there are many free resources you can go to for help with these issues. A therapist or similiar may help you change your way of thinking and help pull yourself out of this negativity, and could probably help you with your relationship issues as well. There is also a one-on-one "peer chat" you can use on this website that may help you.
Unfortunately this is the best advice I have for you at this time, it seems you have tried to work on these issues in the past but have not been able to overcome them so seeing a professional may be the best way to go. Others on the forum may also have advice to give that could be helpful as well.
Make sure to look after yourself at this time, there are threads on self-care that you can check out on these forums if needed, and good luck with everything! don't be afraid to reach out to the online community here when needed, it is a pretty great place for advice and support
