thanks @frogonthelake , @Lapis_Anteater and @Nymeria-RO so much for replying.
sometimes I worry that I will wake up one day to horrible news about my friend. they haven't said anything about doing anything dangerous, but I think, what if their mood suddenly gets worse, or what if they just aren't sharing those thoughts with me? that's why I try to do all I can. I am not sure I can keep listening to them and being there for them though. even when we talk about lighter topics, my friend still puts a bitter spin on things and it is really hard to listen to.
it's really hard to hear them keep saying they're incurable. I felt that way myself when I had been struggling for so long, but it wasn't true. you're exactly right @Lapis_Anteater even if it really is 'incurable' there's always a possibility of feeling even a little better than you do right now and finding ways to make things easier on yourself. Like you can get NDIS for example and access more supports.
I'm really thankful for my audhd diagnosis and I can imagine feeling so devastated if I was in my friend's situation. I wish I had not talked about my audhd so much to them or encouraged them to look into a diagnosis for themselves. from my outsider's perspective, i wish my friend could see that trauma is just as valid as audhd as a reason for struggling and in fact trauma is very serious.
thanks everyone for helping me talk this out. I do talk to my own psych about it too, I think i am coping OK. I am trying to limit the amount of time i spend talking to this friend, but I don't want them to feel abandoned.
