The fairy lights glared, lining the trampoline net. Screams and giggles echoed into the street as I sat on the grass. I gazed in pure admiration at Dante. I platonically stared at him as he bounced up and down on the trampoline, carefully tackling the kids. They all laughed and shouted with joy. Even at that time I knew it was special. I knew that one day I would look back at this moment and miss it dearly. Only I didn’t think I’d miss it a mere ten months later.
It was the fairy lights that hung from the stage protruding out of a small shack that reminded me of that night. I was brought to this new year’s party by my mum, thinking I’d be more “out there” if I came. To no one's surprise, I was sitting in the corner being anti-social. Every now and then a group of kids, no older than ten, would run past. I could hear the self appointed leader tell everybody the rules of their game. I couldn’t help but laugh as they all trotted off in a pack to start their fun. I think a lot of those kids were at that party on that night. It was a house warming party, I was the only friend he invited. It was just us, babysitting the younger kids while their parents drank and mingled. I was his little sister’s favourite. She would cling onto my arm and refuse to let go. That was how I felt now. I felt like clinging onto his arm and never letting go, preventing him from ever leaving me.
I’m pretty sure I was wearing the same shoes as that night too. Green converse, with tears along the canvas material. Scribbled all over with the pen that Dante used in english class. I’ve had these shoes since we met. I remember coming to school with them, brand new, not a scratch. I talked on and on about not touching them or stepping on them. And then, while I was distracted in class, Dante drew little stars on the white parts. I was absolutely furious. The fact that he had ADHD did not let me forgive him for zoning out and doing that. I didn’t talk to him for three days. I wish I could go back and forgive him sooner. I would have if I knew eventually we wouldn’t be friends anymore.
I listened to the bush band playing on the small stage and surveyed the audience around me. My eyes stopped on a woman up the front. She looked so familiar. Her hair was brown and pulled back into a low ponytail. She was filming the band with one hand, a beer in the other. I blinked and realised. Katie. Dante’s mum’s ex. I remember a conversation we had at that party.
It was late after the housewarming, most people had left, and I was waiting to be picked up.
Dante had gone to the bathroom, leaving me alone with Katie. She was very clearly intoxicated. I was always slightly scared of drunk people, so I was very nervous.
“So, youse are dating right?” she assumed.
“No, we’re just friends,” I corrected.
“Oh right, sure love, just like his mum and me,” she chuckled.
“No, really we are just friends,” I clarify again.
“Really?” she couldn’t process this information sober. “But he talks about you all the time.”
“....Well we are best friends.”
“Sure yeah love,” she chuckled, “I’d bet fifty bucks that this time next year, youse are dat-” her prediction was interrupted by her throwing up. That was my queue to go find Dante.
A cool, sharp wind blew down my neck, sending shivers through my whole body. The night was ending and there was only 3 minutes until the new year. I checked my phone for a distraction, opening snapchat. I pressed on Dante’s story, an image of him and Lisa popped up. They’re heads rested on eachother, they were smiling wide. “Turn your phone off!” my subconscious screamed. I stuffed my phone in my pocket and put my full attention on the band. I was stupid for dwelling on the past, it was a waste of my time. The new year countdown started.
“TEN”
I couldn’t help but think about it.
“NINE”
How could everything change so drastically in ten months?
“EIGHT”
Just breathe.
“SEVEN”
You’re overreacting.
“SIX”
You only knew him for two years.
“FIVE”
I wonder if his sister ever asks about me?
“FOUR”
I can’t help but cry
“THREE”
Wow, what a great start to the year.
“TWO”
Crying at the end of 2023.
“ONE”
Crying at the start of 2024.
Thanks for reading
